'Dancing with the Stars' recap: Results, Seal and Rascal Flatts

It's our second results show of the season; who's going home? It's got to be one of the "24 is the new 21" scores, right? That'd be Jack, Gladys, Melissa, Gavin or Sherri. I'm thinking Melissa.

We start with a performance of Seal, covering "Lean on Me." I'm, alas, of the generation that first knew this song as a Club Nouveau song. Forgive me — I have mended my ways and am now a huge Bill Withers fan. I'm perfectly fine with listening to Seal sing most anything, even a straight-forward cover like this one.

Just getting my first look at Brooke's dress — I think this was the alternate design for Dale Arden's wedding dress in "Flash Gordon." That doesn't mean I don't like it.

Len says last night was "unbelievable" and that no one deserves to go tonight. Tom assures us that someone is going home tonight.

First up: Roshon, who's a total goof backstage and Maria, who, unfortunately laughs again. Up in the contestant crow's nest, after Maria and Derek's performance, cameras caught Jaleel telling William, "They're going to get straight-up 10s for that." Maria asks after the dance if they can get "nachos and beer," and then Derek fake makes out with her and I like the chemistry between these two, even if, to my eyes, it's not romantic in the slightest. Then we see, Mark psyching Karina up before the performance and if he talked to me like that I'd roll my eyes.

First safe couple: Katherine & Mark. She's more shocked than she should be. Maria & Derek are also safe. Gavin & Karina & Gavin's hat are in jeopardy. Roshon & Chelsie are safe.

Dana Delany and Jeri Ryan are in the audience looking foxy! Love the specs, Dana! True fact: My dad has had a crush on Dana Delany since "China Beach."

Next week is "Rock Week" and we're getting Jaleel doing the Rolling Stones and Gladys Knight tackling Tina Turner. IF THEY RETURN.

We get a feature about Anna Trebunskaya and Jonathan Roberts, husband and wife, who will be dancing to honor a professional dancer friend of theirs, Julia Ivleva. She was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer last year. Her diagnosis is uncertain, but she may not have very long. She's too frail to dance anymore so Jonathan and Anna have choreographed a waltz in her honor. It's so, so graceful and beautiful. They show Julia and her husband in the audience and the two couples really do look like good friends.

Three more couples up for recap from last night. Gladys was listening when the judges talked about her frame the previous week and was trying hard to improve it. I love that. I think Tristan is delighted to have a happier partner this year. Now, they show Jaleel and his "Mickey Mouse" breakdown again. I'm still not sure what was going on there. William's footage from last night shows Bruno reacting with "Oh my God" — and then we find out, through the miracle of slow motion replay that it was most likely a reaction to Cheryl almost falling completely on her tush after a move through William's legs. William hollers about the 10 from Bruno, "I LOVE YOU, BRUNO!" and then Cheryl unbuttons his shirt again. Cheryl is a smart, smart woman.

Results: Whoops! Something goes wrong with the theme music and Tom covers by telling us we can just hum our own theme music at home. Tom is so great at this job. I'd love to see him win an Emmy for it, but it's never going to happen. Curse you, Jeff Probst! First couple safe is William and Cheryl. Gladys and Tristan are in jeopardy; Jaleel and Kym are safe.

Macy's Stars of Dance coming up, with Travis Wall and Twitch, both big stars from the Fox's "So You Think You Can Dance." I love both dancers from watching their show. Travis is not just a good dancer, but he's also a talented choreographer (Emmy-nominated) so I'm looking forward to this.

Brooke's talking to people. Nothing anything interesting/unexpected is said. Although Melissa's face when Sherri starts slinging her hair around is speaking volumes. Brooke says the judges have, for the first time ever, handed her an envelope. Then she corrects herself, "Not judges, the producers." First time and last time, eh, Brooke? Sherri and Val are safe and she starts whipping her hair around again and screeching about her weave. Brace yourself for so major "hairography" next week from Sherri.

Hold on a minute, y'all. They're changing rules on us here.  Starting next week, and for the three subsequent weeks, the bottom two couples will dance for the judges and the loser of the "Dance Duel" will go home. I can think of several contestants I wish they'd been able to save/get rid of in the past.

Macy's Stars of Dance — I haven't seen this many people dancing with handkerchiefs since the last time I went to Greekfest. This is a fun dance. The horn section is clearly having a blast and I will never complain about good looking men in suits on my TV screen.

And then the first commercial is for suits. See what they did there? (Although Mr. Trump is not my definition of handsome.)

And now a performance from Rascal Flatts. The lead singer says in an interview with Tom that they're friends with Gavin and is suggesting that Gavin lose the hat and start wearing a fez, also a hat. I'm not sure he understands how that works.

Final footage from last night. Maks and Melissa are whooping while dancing, which is encouraging. Sometimes Maks is kinda sweet. Results: Donald & Peta are safe; Melissa and Maks are safe; which means Jack and Anna are in jeopardy.

Bottom three: Gavin & Karina, Gladys & Tristan, Jack & Anna. (All of whom scored 25 last night.)

Gladys and Tristan are safe!

Jack and Anna are going home. They seem a tiny bit surprised. Jack is a total pro, giving his thanks to the judges and wishing the other contestants good luck.

Kiss will be in the ballroom next week, which means the dancers, judges, and Brooke will look under-made-up in comparison.