Meanwhile, in New York, Cassandra July tells Rachel she isn't sexy enough for the tango. And I agree. Rachel is too sexy as French fries are to healthy.
Back in Lima, Mr. Schu thinks Britany has lost her identity and suggests she meet with Emma, the school guidance counselor, on a daily basis. In the choir room, he tells the glee kids they've been asked to perform at the annual pep rally. And this week's theme? It's Britney, bitch!
Blaine and Artie bust out a mashup of Britney's "Boys" and Bieber's "Boyfriend," which I actually quite enjoyed. Actually, I enjoy almost everything Blaine does, especially when he's wearing a bow tie, which he was not this week. But I digress...
Unique tries to warn Marley that Jake is a womanizer. (Hmm...sound familiar?) Cue the Britney music. And now I get it...Unique is supposed to be the new Mercedes. Except Mercedes was better and didn't annoy me. P.s. Where is Mercedes anyway? I'd like to see what she's up to in L.A.
Unfortunately, all of these Britney songs aren't motivating Brittany and she becomes a train wreck. First, she tries to shave her hair off a la Britney. Then she beats up paparazzo kid with an umbrella. The glee kids try to stage an intervention for their beloved Brittany and ask her to be the lead performer during the pep rally performance. And Brittany suggests they lip synch...like the real Britney! (Side note: no matter how much Britney lip synchs, I will always love her. Team Britney!)
Rachel asks her very cute colleague, Brody, to help her with a routine to showcase her sexiness. Thus, we have the highly anticipated performance of "Oops...I Did it Again!" I was more enthralled by the choreography than the actual singing, although it was a perfect song choice for her. And Brody in a black beater? Yes and yes!
But Cassie's still not feeling it, so Rachel goes off on her about how Cassie ruined her Broaday career before it even started and Cassie is jealous of her and the other NYADA students because they're the future. Obviously Cassie isn't going to take Rachel's backtalk, so she kicks her out of class. Rachel later apologizes and, after a lecture, Cassie lets her off with a warning and says she's on probation.
New Directions performs "Gimme More" at the pep rally and it's reminiscent of Britney's awful
Eventually, Brittany comes to her senses and drafts a letter to Sue to be reinstated in the Cheerios. Sue agrees to let Brittany back on one condition: that she graduates this year.
Feeling inspired after their sexy performance, Brody rides 45 minutes on the train to visit Rachel and deliver flowers. Brody, you can bring me flowers anytime. I like sunflowers! Brody confesses he likes Rachel and goes in for the kiss, but...she denies him! Face palm. Rachel, I know you're still madly in love with Finn, but Brody is where it's at.
Jake eventually decides to join New Directions, thanks to Marley, Mr. Schu and Puck. But apparently he's dating Kitty. Umm...why? Marley closes the show with a pretty decent version of "Everytime," which includes a montage of Rachel finding her way in New York and Brittany staring at Santana's unavailable status on iChat. Ugh.