After comedian Jon Stewart on Monday went too easy on his friend U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner's (D-N.Y.) penis tweeting, Stewart apologized on his show last night.
Assuming the role of Weiner during his now-infamous press conference, Stewart issued mea culpas in between mixing himself cocktails.
"I have made some mistakes," Stewart said. "... Last week we spent three days on this story. We did over 59 jokes, nine penis puns. We used an R. Kelly-style impersonator ... I personally said the word 'cock' 10 times. I acknowledged a personal friendship with the congressman and yet expressed my belief that he was not being honest ... He should resign. I recognize now that it was not enough."
Stewart then explained why he didn't attack Weiner with the comedic ferocity he showed other subjects on the show, namely Sarah Palin.
His explanation? He's too lazy to write jokes after 5 p.m. Since the Weiner press conference ended at 4:30 p.m. and "The Daily Show" is taped at 6 p.m., Stewart said he decided his staff didn't have enough time to properly skewer the congressman.
"This was my decision alone," Stewart said. "I recognize how wrong I was."
Then Stewart managed to cut himself (pretty badly, it looked) on a margarita glass and resigned. He was replaced by British comedian John Oliver, who accused Stewart of "pussying out." A tough way to go.