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Oscar dreams

As much as I love the Oscars, things can get a bit predictable, from the often inane presenter banter to the "Oh my god! I won?!" speeches. We, the viewer, deserve more. We pay these actors' salaries (sort of)! So here are 15 things I'd like to see go down at Sunday's ceremony (8:30 p.m.; ABC). It's really not too much to ask. -- Jordan Bartel
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