Known — and adored — as the mustachioed libertarian Ron Swanson of
1. My wife's astonishing singing voice.
2. My wife's classically beautiful face. You will swoon. Ladies too.
3. A story I tell about Elrond's elvish sex life. Racy.
4. Nancy and Beth dance like a couple of tiny white Beyonces.
5. My 10 tips for a prosperous life. Taste the flavor.
6. My wife's chest area. Should count as two reasons.
7. It's a great venue in which to digest your red meat and Scotch.
8. The chance to marvel at my musk. Even in the back row.
9. My wife's bouncing fanny. Worth 20 reasons by itself.
10. The gorgeous close harmonies from Nancy and Beth.
11. Minor nudity!
12. A discussion of the pros of eating Red Meat. No cons.
13. Cautionary tales from an hirsute fellow. (Me)
14. A display of fine American whiskers.
15. Some salty sex talk. Quite descriptive.
17. My wife's dainty feet and also lower back and neck. The whole shebang.
18. You'll have grown tired of the
20. A veritable feast of chuckles. Wear loose pants.
AS TOLD TO DUSTIN LEVY
IF YOU GO