The top 10 worst names for cars
Horsepower, efficiency, style -- all important. But none of that matters if you don’t get the name right. Who wants to be seen in a Yaris? Or a C-Max? Or a Tiguan?
Who knows how they came up with these sorry monikers -- some epic focus-group fail? But automakers have as many misses as hits in the naming game, so here are our picks for the 10 worst names fouling today’s car market.
Some are simply too contrived. Others sounds like medical devices or pharmaceuticals. One even makes reference to obscure African nomads that Americans have never heard of. Are you listening, Volkswagen? (Wonder why sales are down?)
We looked at the names of every model available at auto dealers this year and picked out the 10 deemed most offensive, or simply lame.
With one exception -- Kia’s K900 -- we ignored names that were just numbers, letters or both. Import brands seemed to be the quickest to embrace bad names. We only have one vehicle from an American manufacturer on the list; perhaps predictably, it was designed and named in Europe.
Here are our worst 10, from bad to worse:
10. Kia K900: Sounds like a dog sled team rather than a $60,000 car.
9. Ford C-Max: Is this a vitamin or a hygiene product?
8. Nissan Armada: The era of giant, sloppy SUVs is over. The marine reference is, however, appropriate for this hideous wanna-be battleship.
7. Nissan Murano: Must be a Jewish car forced by the Spanish to become Catholic, as in Marrano.
6. Toyota Venza: Toyota tells us that Venza is a combination of “venture” and “Monza,” a city in northern Italy. What this has to do with a vanilla crossover/wagon/whatever sold in the United States is not clear.
5. Hyundai Veloster: We don’t think even Hyundai knows what this means.
4. Hyundai Equus: What disease does this pill cure? Yes, we know it is a genus of mammals that includes horses, asses and zebras. Which is it, Hyundai?
3. VW Tiguan: This is actually a mishmash of the German words for tiger and iguana. And what child didn’t dream of growing up to own a Tiger-Iguana?
2. Toyota Yaris: Soviet sister vehicle to Boris? Toyota explains this is a combo of Greek goddess Charis, a symbol of beauty and elegance, and the German expression of agreement, “ya.” Budgetmobile Yaris is no symbol of beauty and elegance. It’s a symbol of being broke.
1. VW Touareg: Encyclopedia Britannica explains the Touareg are Berber-speaking pastoralists who inhabit parts of Algeria, Libya, Nigeria and Mali. Many Americans can relate.
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