Money issues are particularly sensitive. No one is under obligation to share all the details of his or her finances. But it may help to talk about these matters, if only in general terms, because the more we know about one another's financial situation and expectations, the better we can plan.

(Note: If you are getting this letter from your parents, that means they want to discuss these issues with you. You may feel some resistance to talking about these subjects; you may find it unpleasant to deal with the topic of your parents' aging or death, or you may fear giving your parents the impression that you're greedy or care more about money than you do about them. By giving you this checklist, your parents are giving you permission to ask questions, find answers and help secure the future welfare of your family.)

Health Care

* Do you have adequate health insurance? Are you familiar with what is and is not covered? Would you be willing to have an insurance professional, a financial planner or an elder-care attorney review your coverage to be sure it's sufficient?

* Have you purchased or considered a "medigap" policy to help cover expenses not covered by Medicare? (Medicare is the government-provided health-care program for the elderly.)

* Have you thought about whether you have enough savings to cover a major medical expense?

* Who should make health decisions for you should you become incapacitated? Do you have a durable power of attorney for health care that names a child or friend to make these decisions?

Long-Term Care

* What are your plans should you need long-term health care at home or in a nursing home? (Medicare does not cover most custodial care, whether in a nursing home or in your own home.)

* Do you have long-term care insurance or have you considered buying such a policy? Would you expect to tap your savings to pay for long-term care?

* Are you comfortable spending virtually all your assets to qualify for state-provided benefits through Medicaid? (Medicaid, known as Medi-Cal in California, is a health program designed for the poor.)

* Would you expect your children to provide some or all of your care in a health crisis? For how long?

* Do you expect to eventually move in with one or more of your children? Have you discussed this with them?

Income and Assets

* Is your retirement income adequate, or do you worry that your income isn't enough to maintain your lifestyle?

* Do you understand the basics of proper asset allocation, and are you comfortable with the mix of investments and savings accounts you have right now?

* Are you comfortable with the rate at which you are spending your retirement funds?

* Have you had a professional's help in organizing your finances and investments, or would you like such help?