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You can find them in almost any neighborhood, senior center, retirement village and nursing home; other retirees talk about them in hushed and pitying tones. They are the lonely elderly, seemingly without family, friends or interests. Rich or poor, they sit alone on couches or in front of television sets, isolated from the swirl of activity around them.
Retirement expert Ralph Warner, 57, doesn't think they get there by accident. And he fears that all the talk today about saving for retirement may actually boost their ranks in coming years.
"At the extremes, there are people in their 40s and 50s who are obsessed about making money and saving for retirement," said Warner, founder of self-help publishing house Nolo.com in Berkeley and author of "Get a Life: You Don't Need $1 Million to Retire Well." "They're working two jobs, reading financial magazines . . . but when do they talk to their kids?"
Conversations with happy retirees in Southern California echo Warner's theme that good health, strong family relationships, outside interests and ongoing friendships often matter more than a hoard of cash.
As with saving, however, the attributes that contribute to a good retirement can't be neglected until the last minute, retirees said.
Several retirees interviewed by The Times told stories of friends or neighbors who floundered after quitting work because they had no other interests and few relationships outside the office. Many of those enjoying retirement, meanwhile, said they developed the skills that helped them most well before they stopped working.
People who get out of the habit of making new friends, for example, often have a tough time in retirement when their friends begin to die or the retirees themselves move to new places and must start over, Warner said.
Likewise, people who haven't challenged themselves mentally during their working years seem to be more at risk of memory problems, Alzheimer's disease and difficulty adapting to new situations. Those who dream of going back to school after retirement can wind up dropping out in frustration, Warner said.
"A shrinking brain that hasn't learned anything for a long time--it's hard to turn that around," he said.
Working too hard to save money can actually hurt the quality of a future retirement by compromising health and family relationships--two other cornerstones of a happy retirement, Warner said.
By contrast, happy retirees seem to have struck a balance, both before retirement and afterward. Here are some of their stories:
Clifford Holliday of Gardena always found time to volunteer, even while running a successful electrical contracting business and raising a family. He was a longtime member of Kiwanis Club and helped with various community projects, including building a home for a family that had none.
When he sold his business at age 72, he was already well known in the community for his charitable work. The Los Angeles Police Department promptly drafted him to help with a community crime abatement program. That was almost 30 years ago, and he's been busy ever since, first with the Congress of California Seniors, then the National Council of Senior Citizens, and now with Older Americans Social Action Council (OASAC), a group that advocates policies that benefit recipients of Social Security and Medicare.
"I didn't intend to volunteer, but I was always willing to help somebody who needed it," said Holliday, 100. 'You don't get anywhere without somebody helping you."
Holliday's OASAC post resembles a full-time job. He spends 20 to 30 hours a week in the OASAC office, writing letters to legislators and editing a newsletter. He travels to Sacramento and Washington to lobby for his causes.
But he also finds time to exercise, keep up with friends and visit his family, including three children, two grandchildren, three great-grandchildren and one great-great grandchild.
One thing he has not done, however, is remarry, despite various studies that link happy marriages to longevity. Holliday was widowed in 1976, but reports no lack of female companionship.
"And if I marry one, I lose all the others," Holliday said.
Sherman Oaks residents David and Beverly Harlowe mix travel, volunteer work and an extended family to create an active and satisfying life.
But both agree that their strong, happy marriage has been a cornerstone of a contented retirement.
Retirement expert Ralph Warner, 57, doesn't think they get there by accident. And he fears that all the talk today about saving for retirement may actually boost their ranks in coming years.
"At the extremes, there are people in their 40s and 50s who are obsessed about making money and saving for retirement," said Warner, founder of self-help publishing house Nolo.com in Berkeley and author of "Get a Life: You Don't Need $1 Million to Retire Well." "They're working two jobs, reading financial magazines . . . but when do they talk to their kids?"
Conversations with happy retirees in Southern California echo Warner's theme that good health, strong family relationships, outside interests and ongoing friendships often matter more than a hoard of cash.
As with saving, however, the attributes that contribute to a good retirement can't be neglected until the last minute, retirees said.
Several retirees interviewed by The Times told stories of friends or neighbors who floundered after quitting work because they had no other interests and few relationships outside the office. Many of those enjoying retirement, meanwhile, said they developed the skills that helped them most well before they stopped working.
People who get out of the habit of making new friends, for example, often have a tough time in retirement when their friends begin to die or the retirees themselves move to new places and must start over, Warner said.
Likewise, people who haven't challenged themselves mentally during their working years seem to be more at risk of memory problems, Alzheimer's disease and difficulty adapting to new situations. Those who dream of going back to school after retirement can wind up dropping out in frustration, Warner said.
"A shrinking brain that hasn't learned anything for a long time--it's hard to turn that around," he said.
Working too hard to save money can actually hurt the quality of a future retirement by compromising health and family relationships--two other cornerstones of a happy retirement, Warner said.
By contrast, happy retirees seem to have struck a balance, both before retirement and afterward. Here are some of their stories:
Clifford Holliday of Gardena always found time to volunteer, even while running a successful electrical contracting business and raising a family. He was a longtime member of Kiwanis Club and helped with various community projects, including building a home for a family that had none.
When he sold his business at age 72, he was already well known in the community for his charitable work. The Los Angeles Police Department promptly drafted him to help with a community crime abatement program. That was almost 30 years ago, and he's been busy ever since, first with the Congress of California Seniors, then the National Council of Senior Citizens, and now with Older Americans Social Action Council (OASAC), a group that advocates policies that benefit recipients of Social Security and Medicare.
"I didn't intend to volunteer, but I was always willing to help somebody who needed it," said Holliday, 100. 'You don't get anywhere without somebody helping you."
Holliday's OASAC post resembles a full-time job. He spends 20 to 30 hours a week in the OASAC office, writing letters to legislators and editing a newsletter. He travels to Sacramento and Washington to lobby for his causes.
But he also finds time to exercise, keep up with friends and visit his family, including three children, two grandchildren, three great-grandchildren and one great-great grandchild.
One thing he has not done, however, is remarry, despite various studies that link happy marriages to longevity. Holliday was widowed in 1976, but reports no lack of female companionship.
"And if I marry one, I lose all the others," Holliday said.
Sherman Oaks residents David and Beverly Harlowe mix travel, volunteer work and an extended family to create an active and satisfying life.
But both agree that their strong, happy marriage has been a cornerstone of a contented retirement.
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