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'Omer Asik' is Turkish for 'Rockets are on crack'

'Omer Asik' is Turkish for 'Rockets are on crack'
Bulls backup center Omer Asik has a rich contract offer from the Rockets. (Chris Sweda/Tribune Photo)
I don’t know why the Bulls are even bothering to think about it.

Learn how to say “goodbye’’ in Turkish and be done with

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Omer Asik

Wish the

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Rockets
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good luck with their silly offer of

who can’t score and has bags of Quikrete for hands.

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The Rockets shocked everybody with a backloaded three-year deal that pays Asik $5 million each of the first two years and a ridiculous $14.3 million the third year. For 3.1 points and 5.3 rebounds a game? Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

You can’t pay a backup that much money. Period. End of discussion. End of Asik. You can’t pay a backup that much money if he isn’t named

Taj Gibson

, and Gibson should get paid first because he’ll earn a starting position before Asik will.

But the bigger point is, you especially can’t pay a backup that much money when you desperately need stars first.

Listen up, class. I’m only going to explain this one more time: Stars win titles. See the

Heat

for details. The Bulls don’t have a star beyond

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Derrick Rose
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. Now that Rose is hurt, the Bulls have zero stars, sort of like an

Adam Sandler

movie.

Bulls management loves to brag about its depth. Quick, someone tell management it has no depth at stars.

Quick, someone also tell management that the Mike Millers and Shane Battiers and, yes, Omer Asiks of the

NBA

role-player world become available every year. You pay those guys only after you have two or three stars.

Think about that: The franchise with a

Michael Jordan

statue doesn’t understand the value of stars. The franchise with six titles because of Michael,

Scottie Pippen

and either

Horace Grant

or

Dennis Rodman

doesn’t understand the value of stars. The franchise being run in part by someone who played on three of those NBA champions doesn’t understand the value of stars. Palm to forehead.

This bunch of Bulls couldn’t beat the ill-conceived

Philadelphia 76ers

after Rose went down. Where was Asik then? Oh yeah, he was clanking free throws and choking  C.J. Watson’s pass at the end of Game 6. Watson got ripped for making the pass. Why? In part because Asik was on the other end.

And the Bulls are seriously thinking about committing almost $25 million for a guy who cannot catch a critical pass and cannot hit critical free throws? Is this some kind of Jedi mind trick?

Whether Bulls management wants to admit it, this represents an opportunity to change a team that lost its chance to win. The Asik lunacy could force Bulls wonks to boldly change a roster that needs to be changed. Vision over complacency. Get ahead of things instead of waiting for one move to force another.

If the Bulls were to smoke crack and match the offer, then

Carlos Boozer

will get amnestied for sure after the upcoming season, so something good would come of a dumb move. But the Bulls shouldn’t need to smoke crack and match the Asik offer to amnesty Boozer.

He’s a defensive disaster who should’ve been the Bulls’ low-post answer but likes the big easy chair of the 17-foot jumper. Bulls management either got pantsed or tried to sucker us in the wake of losing Lebron

James

and

Chris Bosh

to Miami. Either way, the Bulls did not get a second star to play with Rose. Heck, they didn’t even get a guy they could play in the fourth quarter of playoff games. It’s so obvious that even the wonderful people who foisted

Vinny Del Negro

on us  should be able to figure it out.

But if they can’t, then tell Bulls wonks to look at the timetable for Rose, the sun around which every Bulls decision revolves:

Rose will come back sometime during the 2012-13 season. He will not be DERRICK ROSE. In the 2013-14 season, Rose will feel better playing on that knee and will be learning more about what kind of game he can actually play on it. In 2014-15, doctors say, Rose will consistently play like DERRICK ROSE. “M-V-P’’ chants to follow.

In that 2014-15 season, if the Bulls match the Rockets’ offer, then they will have about $45 million committed to three players: Rose, Asik and

Joakim Noah

. Think about that: $45 million and only one guy of those guys can score.

What part of “no’’ don’t the Bulls understand?

Worse, what part of “second star’’ can’t the Bulls identify?

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