Ask Paul returns to analyze your trade ideas in the annual wacky trade edition.
Lou and Hendry to the White Sox for Kenny and Stone then trade Kenny and Brenly to the D'backs for Grace. Make Stone the GM, Grace takes Brenly spot in the booth and Sandberg becomes the manager. Suresh, Westerville, Ohio
That's pure genius, Suresh. We'll get that plan in action as soon as the Reinsdorf is done with this LeBron business.
Seeing as how the Noodle is now the second most valuable asset the Cubs have (to the Toyota sign of course), I say we package the Noodle with Ted Lilly and Derek Lee and trade them to Boston for prospects. Jim Knebel, Chicago
With Ronnie Woo as a throw-in?
Derrek Lee and Ryan Theriot to Angels for Howie Kendrick and Fernando Rodney. James Fannin, Champaign, Ill.
That makes some sense, except the Angels wouldn't trade Kendrick, even if D-Lee waived the no-trade clause.
Derrek Lee and Rudy Jaramillo for Albert Pujols and Mark McGwire. B.W., Logansport, Ind.
And some performance-enhancing drugs to be named later?
Lou Piniella for Raymond Domenech, coach of France's soccer team. Domenech relies on astrology to help him make up his line-up. He makes incomprehensible personnel decisions. His players openly feud with each other and the coach. He also puts his players in odd positions on the field. So we could have Colvin at first, Soto in center, and Big Z behind the plate. If you're not getting the results anyway, it's at least fun to watch. Adam, Homewood, Ill.
I'm not familiar with the France soccer coach, though I know his players think he's crazy and he says irrational things and hey, wait a minute.
What if we trade the Toyota sign, the giant noodle and Kosuke Fukudome to the Red Sox for the Green Monster? I'd assume that we'd have to eat most of Fukudome's contract. Bill Herron, Grand Blanc, Mich.
Boston would never trade the Green Monster, unless we threw in the centerfield scoreboard and the Captain Morgan Club.
How about Derek Lee and Zambrano to the Angels for Kendry Morales and a player to be named? (Or a ham sandwich, whichever for Z). Dan, Chicago
Sorry, not wacky enough.
Big Z for another beer vendor. That should wake up the GMs who want to steal $19 million per year out of the fans' pockets. Tim Kurk, Lake in the Hills, Ill.
A cotton candy vendor maybe, but a good beer vendor is much more valuable to Cubs fans than Big Z this year.
Cubs send Mike Fontenot and Jeff Samardzija to Kansas City for Alex Gordon. The proverbial change of scenery might do good for everyone involved. Keith Knepp, Nappanee, Ind.
Samardzija has a no-trade clause, and I'm not sure he would waive it to go to Kansas City, and the Royals aren't trading Alex Gordon.
Joe Girardi for Lou Pinella. Let Lou finish with the team he's most famous for as a player. Let homegrown Joe bring his winning Yankee experience back to Chicago. Many forget the tremendous job he did with a young Marlins team (Marlins contended through September) after owners cleaned out his roster AFTER he took the job. Joe P. Hutchinson, Glendale AZ
This is one scenario that both Lou and Joe would may agree to.
Hey Paul, how about Ramirez and Fukudome to Tampa Bay for Evan Longoria? Longoria could be the Cubs 3B of the future. I'm not opposed to including some sort of prospect to sweeten the pot. If you're Jim Hendry, do you make this deal? Daniel Fuller, Little Rock, Ark.
I said wacky trades, not ridiculous.
Cubs send Lee, Ted Lilly and cash to Texas for Martin Perez, Justin Smoak and Tanner Scheppers. Texas never would give up their best prospects normally but they can't take on salary so if the Cubs pay Lee an Lilly's salary for rest of year who knows. Tom Rypel, Bradenton, Fla.
Looks like D-Lee is in everyone's wacky trade plans.
Why don't we trade Lou Piniella for Bobby Valentine--and let him kick some butt. At least it'd be entertaining. Ron, Bloomington, Ind.
Florida beat you to the punch, but at least we know Cubs fans' priorities -- a manager who kicks some butt. Thanks for all the wacky trade ideas. Let's sit back and see if any of them pan out.Copyright © 2015, Los Angeles Times