Welcome to a Thursday edition of From the Cubicle, your source for what's happening at Wrigley Field while you're stuck at work.
In case you missed it, the Cubs' pitching staff continues to take a beating from various office supplies. It was revealed over the weekend that Carlos Zambrano had to leave a game early because his elbow was sore from spending . And now Mike Remlinger landed on the 15-day DL after he between the arm rests of two clubhouse recliners. Keep Joe Borowski away from the coffee maker, please. Leave this stuff to the professionals.
Speaking as one, a professional office worker, that is, post-it notes are not to be taken lightly.
Today we have the Cubs against the Colorado Rockies, whose 3-20 road record is actually better than Houston's and the Astros managed to get a win at Wrigley. Today it's Mr. Internet himself, Zambrano, against Jason Jennings, who, if you can believe it, still uses a 28.8 dial-up.
Here are today's lineups. We'll have baseball soon.
Here we go. Sorry for the delay. I was exchanging instant messages with Zambrano and I couldn't get rid of the guy. Clint Barmes grounds out to start the game. Zambrano strikes out Desi Relaford and that brings up the one legitimate major-leaguer in this Colorado lineup. That would be Todd Helton. Helton walks and Preston Wilson bounces out to end the inning.
Neifi Perez squibs a swinging bunt to the right side of the infield where Jennings makes a nice play and flips to Helton for the out. Todd Walker hits the first pitch on the ground the second baseman Relaford takes care of him. Derrek Lee rips one to center that sends Preston Wilson twisting and turning but he eventually catches up to it and retires Lee.
I was at Tuesday's game, as well, and really couldn't hear Gordon either. I was booing him because he's no Bill Elliott. Brad Hawpe, never heard of him, grounds to Lee who flips to Zambrano covering. Matt Holliday, never heard of him, grounds back to Zambrano who this time flips to Lee. Todd Greene, again never heard of him, pops to Lee to end the 1-2-3 second.
Len and Bob favorite Jeromy Burnitz digs in. He grounds out to Reliford. Ramirez fans looking. I guess that's not possible. He looked at strike three, turned and walked back to the dugout. Corey Patterson bunts for a hit. Good play, considering you're not going to hit Jason Jennings. Todd Hollandsworth pops out to third.
Garrett Atkins grounds out to Perez. Jennings bounces one to Walker for the second out. Listening to Len and Bob you'd think Jennings was on his way to Cooperstown. They keep talking this guy up--as a pitcher, a fielder and now a hitter. I don't see it. Zambrano walks Barnes. Relaford hits one to center that Patterson can't reach. It bounces by him slightly, allowing Barnes to score. Brenly chalks that up to the wind. Please. Relaford took second. Helton strikes out.
Rockies 1, Cubs 0
Michael Barrett rips a double to right. Hey, pb on the message board, I know plenty about baseball. I also know even you could probably hit in Coors Field. Zambrano lines out to center and Barrett nearly gets doubled up. Perez hits a chopper to a charging Relaford who makes the throw in time to get Perez. Barrett takes third. Walker gets his first hit since coming back, knocking in Barrett to tie the game. Lee pokes a single to right off the immortal Jason Jennings. Walker stops at second. Burnitz strikes out looking. I think that was the wind, too.
Cubs 1, Rockies 1
Wilson grounds out on the first pitch of the inning. Hawpe bounces it to Lee who flips to Zambrano covering. Holliday walks then steals second. Greene strikes out.
Ramirez hits the first pitch into left, snapping an 0-for-9 streak. Patterson bounces to Helton, who steps on first and then gets Ramirez in a rundown. Two outs. Hollandsworth bounces out to Helton to end it. Things are cruising now.
WGN, to its credit, hasn't missed a first pitch yet. Atkins hits one back through the box that Zambrano tries to kick. Perez gets to it but Atkins beats the throw. Jennings bunts Atkins over. Barmes goes the other way to right, scoring Atkins. Relaford rips a single up the middle. Zambrano comes back to strike out the always-tough Helton, for the second time today. Wilson dumps a single to left that scores Barmes. Ramirez cuts the throw, flips to third but Perez is late covering and Relaford is safe at third. Hawpe comes up. Wilson takes off for second, Barrett's throw is cut and the Cubs nail Relaford at home for the third out.
Rockies 3, Cubs 1
Barrett and Zambrano both ground out to short. Not at the same time. Perez one-hops it to Helton, who makes a nice play and steps on first himself.
Here's Hawpe again, who starts the inning with a fresh count. He eventually grounds out to Ramirez. Message board Milton, Johnny Rosenstein left the Trib to work for CBS.sportsline.com. He's based in Florida now, so that's why you haven't seen him roaming Waveland and Sheffield. Holliday grounds out and Greene pops up to end another quick inning.
Walker pops out to Barmes. Lee does the same. Burnitz bounces out to Relaford and the Cubs are making Jennings look a pitcher who isn't 1-6 with a 7.05 ERA.
Atkins leads off an inning for the third time today and flies out to Burnitz. Jennings, the greatest hitting pitcher ever, strikes out. Barmes lofts one to Burnitz to end it. Kathy and Judy, WGN radio people, sing TMOTTBG as 'GN TV pans the crowd for over-served lasses.
Ramirez did something. WGN was too busy running commercials for the big new double-header of "Happy Days" and "The Beverly Hillbillies" reruns and missed the entire at-bat. They come back and he's jogging back to the dugout. He lined out, I guess. Patterson grounds out to first. If you find yourself watching "Beverly Hillbillies" reruns, it's probably time to re-examine some things in your life. "Happy Days," is another story. Hollandsworth draws a walk, the first allowed by Jennings. Barrett singles to center. Jason Dubois bats for Zambrano, who scurried back to the clubhouse to check his e-mail. Dubois grounds out, stranding two runners.
Cliff Bartosh is the Cubs' new pitcher and Relaford turns around to bat right-handed. Doesn't matter because Bartosh walks him on about four pitches. Helton bounces into a 3-6-1 double play. Derrek Lee is just solid. Bartosh made a nice play making sure his foot was on the bag. Wilson cranks one onto Waveland. Long, long gone. There's a guy out there in a "Star Wars" stormtrooper outfit. Let's hope he caught the ball. Hawpe walks and Dusty comes out to get Bartosh after that stellar outing. Big Joe Borowski pitches to Holliday. Holliday bounces to Ramirez, who throws to second to get the third out.
Rockies 4, Cubs 1
Len and Bob just spent a good part of the last inning discussing Corey Patterson and how he really was a "six tool player," with the sixth tool being instinct. Are these guys watching the same team? Perez lines a single. Walker walks. That's it for Jennings. Enter righty Jay Witasick. Danf on the message board, you don't like it, no one's forcing you to be here. Lee pops out. Burnitz bounces to Relaford, who has trouble getting the ball out of his glove but gets the out at first. Second and third and two outs for Ramirez. He bounces out to Helton. Nothing doing for the Cubs.
Greene hits a homer off Borowski to the party section in left. WGN got back just in time to catch that. Borowski gets Atkins and whoever hit for the pitcher. Not sure WGN told us. Barmes bounces to to Perez, who boots it. According to Brenly, the ball "didn't come up as much as [Perez] expected." That's one way of looking at it. Barmes steals second. Meanwhile, the stormtrooper is now posing for pictures. Relaford sends one deep but Burnitz catches up to it on the warning track.
Rockies 5, Cubs 1
Lefty Brian Fuentes on to pitch to Patterson. Patterson reaches on an infield single. Jerry Hairston pinch hits. Hairston hits it to Relaford who bobbles, but gets Patterson at second. Fuentes plunks Barrett and so there are two guys on and one out for Jose Macias, who grounds out to short. It's up to Perez. Fuentes whips one to the backstop and Hairston scores. Barrett takes third. But Macias grounds out to third to end it.
Final: Rockies 5, Cubs 2
Well, what can you say about this team? The Cubs drop two straight games at home to the two worst teams in the National League. That says it all.