Have you ever talked to them in person? (1) There's your answer right there.
I have a good rapport with athletes. They get interviewed like 25 times a day and everyone is so serious. It makes no sense. I think they're excited to come onto a comedy show. I would love to have Kobe on. He always declines our request. At the American Music Awards, (2) I made fun of him to his face. I think he still carries that grudge with him. Barry Bonds won't do the show either.
I like Mike Tyson a lotand I never imagined I would. We were going to do a Christmas song together (3) but I had a parent/teacher meeting to go to. I asked if he could wait around an hour and he did. I came back with my son and Mike sat down with my son and told him how he was never very good at school. He told my son he needs to do well and listen to his father.
At the end of the conversation, I told my son, "And if you don't do well, Mr. Tyson is going to beat the [expletive] out of you."
I used to listen to games on the radio and watch on a little black and white TV. One day when I was 11 years old, my dad said we're driving to California to see a Dodgers game. I'd never seen it in color. The green grass, the uniforms had bright red numbers on them--it was like the most magical experience.
Steve Garvey was my idol. I was very nervous when I met him. It was at a convention in Tampa before I was on TV. There was a line, so it was hard to tell him how much he meant to me in 25 seconds.
I played a lot of Wiffle ball40 percent of my youth was spent begging people to play Wiffle ball. I started an indoor Wiffle ball league. There were membership cards and we would listen to the national anthem before games.
I didn't play sports in high school. I was never that good.
I've played in the [All-Star] celebrity softball game three of the last four years. They brought in this Olympic softball player to strike the "Man Show" guy out. (4) I belted it out right over the fenceright over Kenny Mayne's head. It was my crowning achievement in sports.
When I would do well, they'd thank me. (5) If I didn't do well, they'd act like I owed them money. I did unnaturally well. My cousin Sal helped.
One night we had dinner with Jimmy Johnson and my cousin Sal and him talked about an upcoming game for a while. At the end of dinner, Sal had convinced Jimmy to change his pick.
Howie Long does not like me. He never got used to the fact that someone he could beat up in his sleep was allowed to make fun of him. He looks like a horse. He gave me a good talking to in the hallway one day. Terry was a little better about it.
I've been asked to do a sports radio show lots of times. For one reason or another, I wasn't interested.
Dennis made the mistake of concentrating more on knowing football than being funny. (8)
Those guys (9) know a million times more than I know. If I'm on live in prime time for four hours once a week, I'm going to say something stupid. I would not last more than half a season.
(2) Kimmel is a three-time host of the American Music Awards.
(3) The skit appeared on "Jimmy Kimmel Live".
(4) July 2004.
(8). Miller was a color commentator on "Monday Night Football" for two seasons.
(9). "Monday Night Football" commentators.