Hampton Roads is a funny place.
Interstate 64 East goes south -- and then west. Things aren't said the way they're spelled -- Gloucester, Norfolk, Portsmouth. A rain-snow-mix boundary is enough to throw the area into chaos.
There's a funny e-mail that has circulated around Hampton Roads for the past few years, sort of a take of on "You know you're a redneck if..."
The joke starts, "You know you live inte 'The 757' when ... "
Add your own funny ending.
After publishing some of them online and in the paper Wednesday, we heard from someone who says he originated the idea. And we believe him.
Ben Kennedy, first compiled the jokes with help from his friends and myself on his band's Web site about five years ago. Shortly after that, he wrote it up with a friend for a cover piece in the Virginian-Pilot.
Here's how some of the jokes go.
You know you live in 'The 757' when
You are amazed whenever any city within 50 miles of your house is mentioned in a textbook, national news, etc.
You can finish the "Beach Ford" song. ("Beach Ford, Barton Ford Lincoln Mercury ... WORLD CLASS!")
NOTE TO READER: When we first posted this story, we asked readers to submit their own "757" jokes...read the following "pages" of this story to see what readers submitted.
You know Mount Trashmore is a real place, not a joke.
Any eastbound trip you've ever made involves at least one tunnel.
You've dated a military guy.
You don't stop and look skyward when aircraft fly over.
You can name all the I-64 spurs.
To you, Scope isn't just mouthwash.
You don't slow down in the tunnel, because it's not a big deal.
You can say "Norfolk" while sounding neither obscene nor incorrect.
You can leave town for years at a time and come back to find the same segments of roads still under construction.
An inch of snow closes everything down.
3 inches is a blizzard.
You know that Norfolk International Airport isn't really an international airport.
You know Newport News is not a newspaper, it is a city.
You know it's not a peninsula, it's the Peninsula. With a capital P.
You know it's not Portsmouth, it's P-town.
THIS JUST IN...You sent these jokes; we post them...
...You don't laugh when you hear Rip Rap Road in Hampton.
It's Hampton, not the Hamptons.
You've seen Pat Robertson in Farm Fresh.
You don't mind the jet noise.
You know that it all started here.
...When you get 5 different directions from 5 different people on how to get to downtown Norfolk.
From Chris and Ryan
.you can mark the Bay Days Festival in Hampton on your calendar before the summer even hits.
.you have experienced all four seasons within a 24-hour period.
.you actually know how to get to Monitor-Merrimac if HRBT westbound is backed up.
..you know how to get from as far as Newport News East End to Williamsburg without , NOT ONCE, hopping onto I-64 (Jefferson Ave.)
..you can remember when Mercury Blvd. had the service lanes that were separate from the rest of Mercury.
.Wal-Mart is an actual hang-out spot when the clubs close down for the night on weekends.
.you can tell when a Navy ship came home just by how crowded stores have become all of a sudden.
...As a kid you knew you were going to Jamestown, Williamsburg or the Virginia Air and Space center on a field trip
you know that every time you go to Williamsburg there will be new places to shop
you look forward to the Hampton Coliseum putting on its "holiday" lights
...When everyone in the south says "ya all" and you say " all ya all"
Jessica in York County
This gal devoted a whole Web page awhile back to "You Know You're From York County If "
Chasity, Newport News
You know you are in the 757 area is you know what time of the day to avoid the HRBT and take the Monitor Merrimac.
The Power Plant is a shopping center in Hampton, not a facility for the generation of power.
You know how to pronounce Denbigh.
Hilton Village was not begun by the famous hotel magnate.
More from Kurt:
...You know those big, tall, weird birds standing in the water AREN'T pterodactyls...
More from Gene, Yorktown:
You're not surprised that George Washington Highway, J.Clyde Morris, and Route 17 are all the same.
Bank parking lots on summer Sundays play host to charity barbeques.
The Civil War and Revolutionary War both passed through your yard.Gene, Yorktown