Shawn & Derek are safe. Apolo & Karina are safe. Bristol & Mark are in jeopardy. Joey & Kym are safe.
Pitbull performs. There are lots of lighting effects and neon. Woo.
And now we're backstage with Brooke, who's wearing a really cool dress. Much more fun than her normal pageant wear.
Helio admits after the dance that he "screwed up." Drew and Joey goof around backstage and Drew looks tiny next to Joey. Kelly and Val play pattycake in their interview backstage and it's both impressive and adorable.
Helio & Chelsie are safe. Kelly & Val are safe. Drew & Anna are in jeopardy. Anna & Drew both give "What are you gonna do?" arms.
Montage about rehearsal. It's exactly as exciting as it sounds.
And now it's a routine from the Season 15 Troupe. Which makes them sound like Girl Scouts. Which might actually be kind of fun. More fun than pros you don't know or care about doing generic dance numbers each week.
Mark Cuban's in the audience to promote Shark Tank, which will feature Jonathan Roberts & Anna Trubanskaya this week. Wonder what their pitch is? Or will they be guest judges? I kind of want to watch to figure out — which I guess was ABC's point.
Gilles has an injured leg? Nooooo. Oh, only a pulled hamstring; he'll recover.
Backstage last night, Emmitt uses one of those little handheld fans on his head and it's kinda cute. While Gilles talks about doing a "classy foxtrot" Peta is totally rearranging her boobs. That's funny — thank you, editor. Louis cautions Sabrina during the dance, "Take your time." Bruno tells the other judges that she "messed it up three times."
Emmitt & Cheryl and Gilles & Peta are safe. There's confusion when Tom says, "You're all safe" and Sabrina & Louis start celebrating too. Then they let them off the hook and tell them they're safe too. Somewhere in the resulting exultations, someone says something that makes the censor hit the cut-out button.
Justin Bieber performs in dropped crotch leather pants. He keeps grabbing the bottom of the dropped crotch, making him look like a toddler that needs to go weewee. The girls in the audience could care less, screaming and crying, overwhelmed with the Bieber Fever.
Kirstie says, "You can't stop the show because I'm making out with Tom Bergeron." Poor Tom. Pam's hoping that "Bad rehearsal means good show." Too bad it didn't work out that way for her.
Wow, I didn't realize last night that Len's highest praise to Pam was, "You didn't fall over."
Kirstie & Maks are safe. Melissa & Tony are safe. Pamela & Tristan are in jeopardy.
So, who's going home? It's down to Drew or Pam. And to the shock of no one, Pam & Tristan are out. Can't say I'm sorry about that result at all.