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'Top Chef: Texas' premiere recap: Let the rodeo begin

Tom Colicchio

Wednesday's premiere of “Top Chef: Texas” can be described in one word: overwhelming.  

We started the night off with 29 contestants, then they were split into three groups, and within that they were also split into three judging groups, and then they fought to the death over pork tenderloins in “Top Chef: The Hunger Games.” That is what happened, right?  

With 29 contestants there was no way I was learning more than five names tonight. So with that I will let you know the five people I actually became slightly invested in for better or worse.

Stone, Chef Tyler Stone:  The second this kid (yes, at the mature age of 23 I have the right to call this 22-year-old “kid”) came on the screen I hated him, and not in the same way I hated Marcel. Marcel was villainous; this kid was just delusional.

He couldn’t butcher a pork chop. I’m pretty sure someone made grits with pig’s ears in this episode. Tyler just couldn’t cut a pork chop no matter how many scary sharp objects he used, so he was the first to go. He never even got to cook anything in the kitchen. But hey, if you really liked him, you can buy his cookbook that only took him three weeks to write!

Chris and Richie: These Chi-town chefs know how to accessorize. Chris wore glasses, a bandana and sunglasses on the top of his head. Richie sported a pink paisley bandana that was both fashionable and functional, holding his pencil and fresh mohawk in place. These boys are coming into the competition with a strong bromance. Let’s see if love blossoms or wilts due to the stress of the competition.

Janine: She made fun of the guy who called himself a “culinary artist,” but then she also said, “I love rabbit. Rabbit orgies are awesome. That’s why they reproduce so much.” I didn’t take anything in for about five minutes after that. 

Keith “I’m too big to pass out” Rhodes: He is Southern, adorable and wears orange Crocs and camouflage pants.  I’m sold.

Welcome back to: 

-Tom’s kooky way of holding a fork and knife.

-Padma’s clearly dubbed voice-overs describing the challenge.

-Gail’s obvious “your food is crap” face she makes while chewing.

-They may call it the bubble room in this episode, but we all know that the chefs on the fence were hanging out in the stew room! 

“Burn Of The Night” goes to Tom Colicchio: “Pack up your knives, and you can go.”  Oh “Top Chef," I've missed you.

So what did you think of tonight’s episode? Are you dying to find out who the final five will be and actually get to know chefs? Is it possible to do a vegetarian episode this season? Do you disagree with everything I said? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Follow me @AwesomeAMT

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