Jason notes that he's learned that fangs (Steve's are prominently displayed) are "twin hard-ons." "Hard-ons for trouble and for feeding on somebody. Not just for talking."
Steve glamours Jason into letting him in the house, where he aplogizes to Jason for his past deeds, you know "acting out ... murderous and whatnot"
"I am a gay vampire American," Newlin admits in a sly Gov. Jim McGreevey reference. "And I love you, Jason Stackhouse."
"First of all, I'm flattered. That was without a doubt the nicest I love you I've ever gotten from anybody, male or female," Jason answers.
Steve won't take no for an answer ("My dead heart beats for you," he says) and he takes Jason by the throat before Jessica runs to his rescue, threatening Steve and forcing him to leave the house. And then she gets on top of Jason.
Are Jason and Jessica back together? Not quite. She said last season she wasn't looking for a relationship, and when Jason later appears at her (Bill's) house, she reminds him that all she was doing earlier was for her protection.
Plus she has, like, a party going on with the entire Greek community of Bon Temps College. Oh that Jessica. So irrepressible.
Howl at the weirdos: When we last say shape-shifter Sam, he was being surrounded by Marcus Bozeman's wolfpack (quick reminder: Alcide killed Marcus last season to save Sam's life; Sam is in a relationship with Marcus' baby mama, Luna).
The wolfpack, led by the gorgeous-in-human form Rikki (Kelly Overton), demand to know what happened to Marcus. If Sam doesn't tell them, they'll go after Luna and Luna's daughter, Emma.
Sam eventually relents after Rikki appears to him again, and again with her hair artfully placed in front of her bare human breasts. He tells them that he killed Marcus (to protect Alcide), and is taken to wolfpack headquarters, where he's tortured, meets Marcus, gravelly voice mom, Martha (guest Dale Dickey) and leads the pack to Marcus' body.
Alcide eventually appears and says that it was he who killed Marcus. Half of the wolves snarl at him viciously while others bow down and proclaim him the new wolf-leader.
And, in the grossest moment of the episode (even after the Nora-Eric sex), the wolves, led by mother Martha, start eating Marcus' dead human body.
I mean, it's not unexpected because they're wolves and all, but still disgusting. No disrespect to human-wolf tradition intended.
Terry and Arlene: still boring: I really like Terry Bellefleur. Despite the whole PTSD from the Iraq War thing, he's kindly and seems to be a good cook.
But it seems as though the writers never quite no what to do with him and Arlene. Case in point: they're subplot this season involved the reappearance of one of Terry's old Marine comrades, Patrick (Scott Foley).
Terry's unnerved by Patrick's visit, and we don't quite know why until Patrick says he's in town because four of the privates in their one Iraq squad have had fires at their homes. Dun-dun-dun!
Terry tries to explain that the fire at his home involved a ghost trying to claim her dad baby (that old excuse!) and Patrick believes him. Patrick's more upset that Terry doesn't want to help him investigate the maybe-related-to-Iraq privates' fire.
The whole thing is ridiculous and very much out of place. The melodramatic stares and music when Patrick alludes to "what happened there in Iraq" are really bad touches — highlighting the most far-fetched plot this year.
Still: Steve Newlin proclaiming his love for Jason? That makes the season premiere worth the wait.
OTHER HIGHLIGHTS FROM "TURN! TURN! TURN!"
Maybe move away?: When Alcide comes to urge Sookie to run away with him to hide out in his house, Lafayette, understandably, yells: "We're done with the supernatural bulls---!"
Nice comeback, Hoyt: Yup, Hoyt is still mad at his former best friend Jason for sleeping with his former love Jessica. But the best insult he can come up with is "girlfriendf---er."
We-weren't-prepared scene: Seeing Andy Bellefleur's naked butt. He hooked up with Merlotte's waitress Holly and the two are discovered in the morning by Holly's sons. Discovering Andy's pants on the couch, one son yells, "On the couch, Mama!? Where I sleep?!" Aw, rednecks.
Best response to a car being blown up: Bill says "I'm sorry" to Nora for blowing up her car. "Don't be," she responds. It was badass."
Most un-Jason like behavior from Jason: Jason turns down an easy hook-up from the unfortunately named sorority girl, Cammy, who he met at Jessica's party, because he still pines for Jessica. "Do me a favor and put on that sweatshirt because you are in some kind of shape and I don't need to see that s---," he says when he starts to drive her home.
Funniest new identity: Eric's new papers identified him as "Ike Applebaum."