'Piranha 3D' -- 2 stars

R; 1:22 running time "Piranha 3D," the film that asks the question "How do you like your humans filleted?" and answers "In large numbers, please," is trying so hard for the laughs and the allusions amid all the gore, and endless bloodbath of bare naked ladies, that it completely forgets to frighten anyone. And seriously, though it's impossible to be serious about a film like this, the top priority for any horror moviemaker, even when tongue is planted firmly in cheek, should be building a better scare factor rather than figuring out how many 3-D boobs can be captured in a single frame. Ah, but bodies, and body parts — ripped, shredded, chewed and, in the case of a particularly significant male body part, spit out in all its 3-D gory — are really what this "Jaws" and "Piranha" hard-R parody is all about. Read the full "Piranha 3D" review. — Betsy Sharkey
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