Katy Perry has more to say about her divorce from Russell Brand and her relationship with John Mayer.
As the "Roar" singer gears up for her 2014 "Prism" tour, she also spoke up about what life was like during her last tour for "Teenage Dream," which happened to coincide with her divorce from British comedian Russell Brand, who ended their marriage via text message on New Year's Eve 2011.
"There were two weeks of my life after I found out the truth of my marriage where I was like, 'OK. All right. I can't feel this. This is too intense right now.' I was, like, just eating Flamin' Hot Cheetos and drinking, and that's it," the 29-year-old told Marie Claire's Claire Hoffman in the January 2014 issue of the mag.
But this time around, Perry turned her pain into something upbeat. Enter "Prism."
"I thought it was going to be a lot darker -- acoustic or Fiona Apple-y. You know, a 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' vibe."
Perry described herself as "the positive girl among my pop peers, but I'm OK with that. I'm happy I'm the light." She recorded a track called "By the Grace of God," which helped get her through that dark hour.
"There are two ways you can go: You can either nurture yourself or go destructive. I have gone down the destructive path before, and that didn't work for me," she said. "You dig deep beyond those scars and find that soft tissue again, and you massage and nurture it and bring it to life, little by little, through serving yourself well. I did it through hikes and vitamins and therapy and prayer and good friends."
The zany costume-clad songstress also believes that her vulnerability has been her strong suit.
"I feel like my secret magic trick that separates me from a lot of my peers is the bravery to be vulnerable and truthful and honest," she told the magazine. "I think you become more relatable when you're vulnerable. When you try to market yourself like some supernatural figurine who can't be ... with, I always resort back to Scripture: 'Pride comes before a fall.'"
Surely her relationship with current boyfriend, singer John Mayer, helped with some of that and the realization that she had to love herself before loving anyone else. However, the pair were on-again, off-again since they got together soon after her divorce.
"I took a break from my boyfriend, not one that I wanted," she said. "It was like a splash of cold water to search inward on what was going on with me. That is what led me to this new awakening, this realizing, if I don't do some self-love, I'm not going to be able to keep the love that I want. I still needed to deal with all of my ex-husband stuff. I hadn't. It's almost like if I kept talking about it, it would seem like I actually cared about it. I don't."
Perry and Mayer got back together over the summer on the heels of proclaiming in Vogue's July 2013 issue that she was still "madly in love" with Mayer."
"He's just a fantastic partner," she told Marie Claire of Mayer. "I've been a fan of his for such a long time. He's got a brilliant, brilliant mind. It's a rad, mature relationship."
One that's fruitful, mutually beneficial and yields intimate duets like "Who You Love," we imagine. As for being fruitful with kids, that's something Perry's not ready for that yet.
"I'm definitely not there yet, and I can't plan that far in advance," she said. "When I decide to have a family, I'll just want to be Mom for a little bit. [Brand] really wanted me to have children, and I knew I wasn't ready -- I think it was a way of control. I think it was part of, if I have a kid, then I would have to sacrifice -- I'd have to be home more. I really wanted to, but I knew I wasn't ready for it. It wasn't like, 'Hey, let's have a kid because we're in love.'"
But those aren't the only relationships the Santa Barbara native talked about. Perry, born Katheryn Hudson, also cleared the air about her pastor father and the evangelical upbringing that started her career singing in a gospel choir.
"People don't understand that I have a great relationship with my parents -- like, how that can exist. There isn't any judgment. They don't necessarily agree with everything I do, but I don't necessarily agree with everything they do. They're at peace with -- they pray for me is what they do. They're fascinated with the idea that they created someone who has this much attention on her. My parents are Republicans, and I'm not. They didn't vote for Obama, but when I was asked to sing at the inauguration, they were like, 'We can come.' And I was like, 'No, you can't.' They understood, but I was like, 'How dare you?' in a way."
As for her own religious outlook, she believes accountability is what keeps her spiritual.
"I don't believe in a heaven or a hell or an old man sitting on a throne. I believe in a higher power bigger than me because that keeps me accountable. Accountability is rare to find, especially with people like myself, because nobody wants to tell you something you don't want to hear. I actually don't trust people who start to turn on me because they get scared of telling me the truth. I'm not Buddhist, I'm not Hindu, I'm not Christian, but I still feel like I have a deep connection with God. I pray all the time -- for self-control, for humility. There's a lot of gratitude in it. Just saying 'thank you' sometimes is better than asking for things."
Marie Claire's January issue hits newsstands Dec. 17.
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