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Surprise, surprise: We’re talking about Sofia Vergara’s figure again

Sofia Vergara, pictured at Vanity Fair's Oscars after-party in February, is on the magazine's May cover.
Sofia Vergara, pictured at Vanity Fair’s Oscars after-party in February, is on the magazine’s May cover.
(Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images)
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Perhaps Reese Witherspoon should be a little happier about those endless “Who are you wearing?” questions on the red carpet -- because if she were Sofia Vergara, she’d be quizzed nonstop about her body instead.

“My boobs are, like, huge,” she tells Vanity Fair, making a “huge” gesture with her hands when asked right away about the assets that are featured prominently in pictures on and inside the magazine’s May issue, along with a story that introduces her by painting a mental picture that hypes her public presentation as “borderline indecent” in her refusal to downplay her “hubba-hubba incarnate” looks.

Not exactly news? Well then, why not double down on it! Let’s keep going. Because Vergara’s savvy business sense and her successful navigation of the path from the Spanish-speaking entertainment world to mainstream “Modern Family” fame -- which are also mentioned eventually and at length in the VF piece -- are not exactly clickable headlines.

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“My whole life, buying a bra was a nightmare,” the 42-year-old adds, explaining that she had to frequent stores that carried bras for stripper-types: skinny girls with big busts. Think Frederick’s of Hollywood.

She wishes her natural set was fake, she says, because the real ones succumb to the reality that is gravity.

Also quoted in the article? Well, that would be one Reese Witherspoon, who’s Vergara’s costar and coproducer for the upcoming comedy “Hot Pursuit.”

“I’ve never been so charmed by anyone in my life,” says Ms. #AskHerMore.

And in case you were wondering what Vergara’s current answer to the “Who are you wearing” question might be, in the interview it seems to be more about “Why are you wearing that?

“Sometimes you read in the press like, oh, Sofía is wearing again the same shape dress,” she says, “and I want to answer them and say, ‘What ... do you want me to wear?’ Obviously there’s a reason why that’s what I go for.”

Clearly, a huge reason.

Follow Christie D’Zurilla on Twitter @theCDZ and Google+. Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Twitter @LATcelebs.

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