Workplace crushes and their consequences

Dear Amy: I recently started learning a new position in the company, and I have developed a crush on the person who is training me.

I have fun with him, but there is a big age difference (about 12 years). I am not sure how far to take this, but I believe he likes me as well. I never have dated anyone I work with, and I am not sure if it is a good idea. Please help.

Wondering at Work

Dear Wondering: Check your company’s policy about workplace relationships. For instance, if your crush is in a supervisory position or will become your supervisor after your training, entering into a romance with him could mean that you will be reassigned.

Workplace crushes and relationships can be terrific – if for no other reason than that they get you to enthusiastically rush into work. However, these relationships can affect your career.

If the two of you are single and available, then by all means let your crush grow, but do so with the knowledge that there are inevitable consequences.

If you two hit it off, then the age factor won’t be insurmountable.

Dear Amy: I have been dating a wonderful man for almost six years. We were on cloud nine when we met.

The problem has been his grown children. The oldest son (age 49) and his family had a very close relationship with his father, but now he is distant. He has told his father he cannot see him with anyone but his mother.

His relationship with his grown daughter and her kids has also been strained. They won’t even say hello to me.

I feel they have no respect for their father or for me.

Now I feel as if my feelings for him are waning. I guess I feel angry that he didn’t put his foot down and tell them he is entitled to a life. He kept telling me to give it time and that they would come around.

Angie

Dear Angie: After six years of this poor treatment and outright rudeness, it’s long past time to bring down the velvet hammer.

Your guy should never have tolerated this from his adult children.

Your guy needs to tell his kids that you are in his life, that you will stay in his life and that they must treat you with respect no matter what.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson by e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.