Grandma wants her title

Dear Carolyn: I married a man 3 1/2 years ago who has two adult children. I feel it is disrespectful to have the children call me by my first name, which is what they are doing. I had a rocky start with his sons so I did not want to push the issue. Things are much better now, but I’m not sure if I should just let it go. I’ve talked to my husband about how I feel but he hasn’t talked to his children and he still refers to me by my first name to the grandchildren.

Just Call Me Grandma

I am with you on the disrespect – not because informality chafes, necessarily, but because I’m grateful I was taught that kids are kids and a friend’s mom is Mrs. Friend’s-Last-Name. Social ranking has its place. That’s pro-speaking up.

Cons: Calling you “Grandma” might seem disrespectful to their two grandmothers.

And I have yet to see a person nitpick her way into someone’s heart. In your rocky start and in your ambition to be promoted to Grandma, you have issues substantial enough to reduce your name campaign to a snit. And, given your husband’s lack of follow-through, you’d be in this snit alone.

Kids have a way of conferring titles on people they love, so the last thing you want is to fuss over something that may eventually fix itself.

Write to Carolyn Hax, in care

of Washington Post, Style Plus,

1150 15th St., NW, Washington,

DC 20071, or e-mail

tellme@washpost.com.