Review:  Panic 5 Bravo’ an amateur outing on the border

Inept on every level, “Panic 5 Bravo” is a virtually unwatchable, blood-soaked crime drama serving as the writing-directing debut of actor Kuno Becker.

Set almost entirely inside an under-lighted ambulance, the claustrophobic, stagy film follows the plight of Arizona paramedics who answer a distress call across the border, only to run into nasty members of the Mexican drug cartel.

Turns out a patient being treated by Becker and his crew has something of value that those unseen assailants (we can only hear their muffled, threatening tones outside the ambulance) are determined to retrieve.

The high-concept approach requires a considerable amount of directorial skill to coax as much tension as possible from that contained, cost-effective setting. Alas, Becker, probably best known for playing a soccer star in the “Goal” movie trilogy, simply isn’t up to the task at hand.

Also coming up seriously short is the awful dialogue and jittery hand-held camera work, adding up to a viewing experience that’s dead on arrival.

“Panic 5 Bravo.”

MPAA rating: R for strong bloody violence, sexual assault, language.

Running time: 1 hour, 23 minutes.

Playing: In limited release.