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Awards

The REAL show business 101

1/5
Navigating Profound Weight Loss: If your donor suddenly loses an enormous amount of weight feel free to ask how he did it. The answer will probably be “exercise and changing up my diet.” The real answer might be stomach staples or something you really don’t want to know about. Smile politely and change the subject ASAP.  (Carlo Allegri / AP)
2/5
Rehab Cures All: It’s not just for drug addicts anymore. Is your star a raging homophobe? An anti-Semite? This is not nearly as big a problem as you might think. A tearful press release and a month at Promises Malibu will take care of it.  (Ronaldo Schemidt AFP/Getty Images)
3/5
The Many Meanings of “Sick”: Sometimes “I can’t come to work today because I have appendicitis,” means, “I’m having a surgery to remove my inflamed appendix.” Sometimes it means, “I –‘ed too much last night and I don’t feel like making movies today.”  (Frazer Harrison / Getty Images)
4/5
What “Yes” Means: In other businesses, your word is your bond. In Hollywood, your word is something you use to fill up the dead space until your yellowtail roll arrives. When a Hollywood donor tells you, “Yes. Absolutely. You can count on me!” what they mean is “Lemme look into that. I gotta see if my deal’s getting re-upped and the construction bill on our new second story is getting out of control. My people have your number right?”  (Ricardo DeAratanha / LAT)
5/5
Expect to See More Actors in Politics. Actors may not as a whole make up the sharpest box of pencils, but they’ve learned over the years that if it walks like a politician and talks like a politician then the American public will vote for it and walking and talking like politicians is no problem for them—they’re actors!  (Robert Durell / LAT)
By Deborah Netburn and Patrick Day
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Times Staff Writers

Today the Motion Picture Association of America trade group holds “The Business of Show Business”: a daylong primer on movie industry economics. Directors and moguls will teach members of Congress, federal and state officials, and think tank scholars about the finances of the Hollywood players that make large donations and hold the huge fundraisers. But if the people who work in politics want to really understand the people who work in entertainment, we suggest they

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Deborah Netburn

Deborah Netburn covers faith, spirituality and joy for the Los Angeles Times. She started at The Times in 2006 and has worked across a wide range of sections including entertainment, home and garden, national news, technology and science.

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