THE LAST WORD
Our extended Emmy categories
From villains and nerds to most preposterous story lines, here are some nominees you won't see on Emmy night.
FOR THE RECORD:
'Brotherhood': In an article in The Envelope on Wednesday about Emmy nominations we'd like to see, the last name of the characters in "Brotherhood" was misspelled as McCafferty. The name is Caffee. —
THE EMMYS do a fine job (well, mostly) of honoring excellence in television -- it's just that they don't go far enough. Sure, we care who is named outstanding lead actor in a drama series, but television offers such a rich tapestry of characters and special moments that even with 98 categories overall, the awards are incomplete. The Envelope asked Times staff writer Maria Elena Fernandez to add a few new categories to the old chestnuts. (Her picks are in red.)
Most unexpected death
Death by tornado: Victor Lang (John Slatttery) of "Desperate Housewives"
Death by huge explosion: Sgt. Doakes (Erik King) of "Dexter"
Death by paternal sell-out: Alex Lunus (Tania Raymonde) of "Lost"
Death by protégé: Snoop (Felicia Pearson) of "The Wire"
Death by murderous child: Omar (Michael K. Williams) of "The Wire"
We will never forget Sgt. Doakes' fiery exit or Alex's face as a mercenary shot her in the head, thanks to her father's prodding. But no demise had more impact than lovable gangster Omar's death at the hands of a little boy.
Villain we can't get enough of
Omarosa: "Celebrity Apprentice"
The McCafferty brothers: "Brotherhood"
Simon Elder: "Dirty Sexy Money"
Sure Sylar devours the brains of the heroes to gain their powers, but Omarosa devours people's souls . . . and she's real.
Sweetest revenge of a nerd
Sheldon (Jim Parsons) of "The Big Bang Theory"
Penelope (Kirsten Vangsness) of "Criminal Minds"
Rusty (Jacob Zachar) of "Greek"
Chuck (Zachary Levi) of "Chuck"
Dena (Melissa McCarthy) of "Samantha Who?"
There are many adorable nerds on TV these days -- "The Big Bang Theory" alone has four! -- but we pick Rusty of "Greek," who in two seasons has become the hippest nerd in TV land.
"Criminal Minds": The six FBI agents got into separate SUVs and one of them exploded. Who was inside?
"Lost": The island moved! How? And why do the Oceanic 6 want to return?
"Pushing Daisies": Will Chuck find out that her aunt is her mother?
"CSI": Who killed Warwick?
"Supernatural": Dean is in hell. Will he become a demon?
"How I Met Your Mother": Will Stella accept Ted's proposal?
"He wants us to move the island," Locke said. And then it moved. Are we still lost? Sure. But we dig it.
Best female power move
"Ugly Betty": Wilhelmina's (Vanessa Williams) takeover of Mode magazine
"Big Love": Third wife Margene's (Ginnifer Goodwin) savvy sexiness has given her an edge over wife No. 2, Nicki.
"Lost": Sun's (Yunjim Kim) promise of revenge against her father
"In Treatment": The very young Sophie (Mia Wasikowska) confronting her father for his neglect
"Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites": Parvati, Amanda, Cirie and Tracy
We cheered Sophie when she finally stood up to her dad after an entire season of defending him, but we give it to the final four finalists of "Survivor" for outwitting, outplaying, outlasting and out-manipulating all the tough guys.
Most preposterous storyline
"Mad Men": Peggy's hidden pregnancy
"Grey's Anatomy": George and Izzie's romance
"The Wire": Det. McNulty and his fake serial killer
"Nip/Tuck": Meth-addict Matt loses his wife and baby, falls in love with a burn victim and then sleeps with a woman who turns out to be his long-lost sister
"Nip/Tuck": The slow poisoning of Julia, who doesn't die but gets amnesia
This is a tough competition, but Gizzie gets the grand prize. That anyone would even think to put these two Seattle Grace surgeons together romantically is beyond absurd. Especially while viewers were still mourning Denny.
Best performance by an eyebrow
John Krasinski: "The Office"
Terry O'Quinn: "Lost"
Shamar Moore: "Criminal Minds"
Vanessa Williams: "Ugly Betty"
Chi McBride: "Pushing Daisies"
In this age of Botox, we are impressed that eyebrows are aflutter every which way on the small screen. But who has better control of his or her eyebrows than Wilhelmina Slater? No one can out-arch Betty's nemesis at Mode magazine.
Most heart-rending breakup
"How I Met Your Mother": Ted and Barney
"Desperate Housewives": Bree and Orson
"Ugly Betty": Betty and Henry
"House": House and Wilson
"Lost": Jack and Kate
Although Ted and Barney's breakup over Barney's Bro Code violation almost moved us to tears (he slept with Robin, Ted's ex-girlfriend -- a major Bro no-no), we must give this award to House and Wilson. House (however inadvertently) caused the death of Wilson's beloved girlfriend, Amber, and now House has lost his best friend. Could it be any more tragic?
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