What's next for Bill O'Reilly? We have some ideas

What's next for Bill O'Reilly? We have some ideas
The future is uncertain for Bill O'Reilly after his departure from Fox News. (Carolyn Cole / Los Angeles Times)

Bill O’Reilly’s departure from Fox News is the end of an era. But just as the Stone Age begets the Bronze Age, O’Reilly will surely use this opportunity to transition his career into something new. What’s next?

We have some ideas.

Get footloose on ‘Dancing With the Stars’

ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars” has become something of a haven for beleaguered celebrities trying to restore their reputation, such as Ryan Lochte and Paula Deen.

Maybe O’Reilly should do-si-do over to the dance floor and see if the long-running reality series can help America forget his history of sexual harassment allegations and/or win him the coveted mirror ball.

It worked for Secretary of Energy Rick Perry.

Timeline: The rise and fall of Bill O'Reilly »

Put Sean Spicer out of his misery

Of all the people who’ve struggled with President Trump’s administration, few have had to be directly in the line of fire as much as White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer.

As if explaining misunderstandings sparked by the president weren’t enough, Spicer has also had to spend plenty of time unspooling his own factual errors.

Enter Bill O’Reilly. Who better to manage the president’s spin than the founding father of the “No Spin Zone”?

Also, it would be great to see Melissa McCarthy’s Bill O’Reilly impersonation.

‘Kill’ everyone

Besides being a former talking head at Fox News, O’Reilly is also co-author of a series of historical books about famous killings, including those of Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy and Jesus.

Now that O’Reilly has more time on his hands, this would be the perfect opportunity to really dig into the “Killing” series and widen its scope. 2016’s “Killing the Rising Sun: How America Vanquished World War II Japan” already moved beyond killing a single person and into killing an entire empire.

Let’s hope co-author Martin Dugard doesn’t have any plans for the next 18 months.

Go Hollywood

O’Reilly already has plenty of experience in front of the camera, so why not go full Fred Thompson and embrace his inner actor?

It doesn’t even have to just be in stentorian roles on Dick Wolf shows. O’Reilly could almost certainly sell CBS on a lightly fictionalized sitcom about himself as a cantankerous newsman with fading popularity forced to face the changing times.

Or, to that end, O’Reilly could sell a late-night talk show where he effects a character called “Bill O’Reilly” and goes full “Stephen Colbert.”

Hit the spa with Steve Bannon

O’Reilly isn’t the only person suffering some professional upheaval lately. President Trump’s chief strategist, Steve Bannon, has had a rough go of it over the past few weeks, being unceremoniously dumped from the National Security Council and rumored to be on the outs with his boss.

It sounds like O’Reilly and Bannon need some time to administer some self-care. Maybe the boys can book a spa day, get their nails done and talk about how “the man” has done them wrong.

Go wherever Rush Limbaugh is

Before O’Reilly became the face of conservative punditry in the United States, there was Rush Limbaugh. The rise of Fox News seemed to push Limbaugh to the wayside, and, while the radio personality still has millions of listeners, his soapbox appears much smaller than it once was.

Perhaps Limbaugh can set up O’Reilly with a sweet little radio gig and he can go gently into that AM radio good night.

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