Miss Piggy’s career highlights

The gentle hearted loved Kermit. The kooky kids loved Animal. The aspiring cynics loved those two old guys who made fun of everyone, but we always loved Miss Piggy.

She was alternately sweet and tough, glamorous but not afraid to muster a karate kick if necessary, and ferociously protective of her beloved Kermie.

Therefore we were delighted (charmed!) when a publicist gave us the opportunity to interview Miss Piggy herself. Unfortunately, the diva was only doing e-mail interviews.

We asked her to recall some of her early career highlights on “The Muppet Show,” the second season of which is available on DVD today.

A day later we got the following dictation from the first lady of swine.

First of all, let me point out the exquisite beauty of the Season 2 box set packaging, which features moi on the cover. This package--much like moiself--is a work of art. And what’s inside ain’t too shabby either. Let’s take a peek, shall we!?

After the first season, there was much talk of changing the name of the program from “The Muppet Show” to “The Miss Piggy Spectacular.” Unfortunately, I was the only one talking about this, and Kermit simply was not listening. That aside, this second season features an astonishing variety of show business talent, including Julie Andrews, Bob Hope, Zero Mostel, Bernadette Peters and John Cleese … every one of whom were thrilled to be working with moi. Here then are a few of my favorite moments:

1. Dancing “Swine Lake” with ballet legend Rudolph Nureyev. It was a magic moment. I felt lighter than air … .especially when he threw moi across the stage.

2. Performing “Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart” with Elton John. Never have I shared a stage with someone whose persona and wardrobe almost matches my own. Elton remains a dear friend to this day. Kissy Kissy EJ!

3. Kermit meets Edgar Bergen & Charlie McCarthy. When Edgar and Charlie appeared on the show, we were all like little children. These two were such an inspiration for all of us, especially Kermit. We never did quite figure out what Edgar did in the act, but he was a wonderful gentleman, and tres funny, too.

4. Meeting “God” and dancing like Carmen Miranda. George Burns, fresh from appearing as God in “Oh God!” -- was divine on our show as well, and I had the opportunity to serenade one and all performing “Cuanto La Gusta” a la Carmen Miranda. Ole!

5. Sort of meeting the great Peter Sellers. A comic genius, who appears on the show as among other characters a gypsy, a preacher, an overzealous masseur and, of course, Queen Victoria. His talent amazed even moi. Plus, Kermie performed a lovely version of “Bein’ Green” on this episode. Perfectemente!

6. A young Steve Martin meets an eternally young moi. This was the first but certainly not the last time that Steven and I worked together. His star turns as “The Balloon Guy,” “The Juggling Guy,” and “The Ramblin’ Guy” are as hilarious as they are baffling.

7. Gonzo wrestles a brick . The brick wins. Poetic justice, n’est pas?