Trump shot to the top of the polls despite his controversial remarks about Mexican immigrants, and the former "Late Show" host, who signed off the air in May, joked that he didn't regret his retirement until the real estate mogul announced his White House bid last month.
The now-bearded comic hit the stage at a live comedy show in San Antonio and resurrected his signature Top 10 list by enumerating "Interesting Facts About Donald Trump." It wasn't the star-studded affair that his last Top 10 list was, but the prickly comic still got an assist from "Three Amigos" stars Martin Short and Steve Martin, who appeared onstage with him.
The self-deprecating 68-year-old made several jokes about Trump's appearance, mainly his hair, which he repeatedly referred to as "that thing on his head," and managed to slip in several "send him to Texas" quips, though a few have been omitted from the list below.
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10. "That thing on his head was the gopher in 'Caddyshack.'"
9. "During sex, Donald Trump calls out his own name."
8. "Donald Trump looks like the guy in the lifeboat with the women and children."
7. "He wants to build a wall? How about building the wall around that thing on his head."
6. "Trump walked away from a moderately successful television show for some delusional [reason]. Oh, no, wait, that's me."
5. "Donald Trumps weighs 240 pounds, 250 with cologne."
4. "Donald Trump would like all Americans to know that that thing on his head is free-range."
No. 3 was a three-way tie: "Send him to Texas," "If president, instead of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving, he plans to evict a family on Thanksgiving" and "That's not a hairdo, it's a wind advisory."
2. "Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans, he's starring in a new movie titled 'No Amigos.'"
1. "Thanks to Donald Trump, the Republican mascot is also an ass."
This isn't the first time Letterman and Trump have been at odds. The "Celebrity Apprentice" host canceled an appearance on the late-night show (and his delivery of a Top 10 list) in May 2011 over allegations of racism that stemmed from Trump raising doubt over President Obama's citizenship.
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