Stephen Colbert uses lesbian puppies and a sexy bear for ratings

Stephen Colbert is ending his Comedy Central show, “The Colbert Report,” in one month, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t still interested in grabbing those all-important Nielsen ratings.

To discover the secret of high ratings, Monday night Colbert turned to a group that’s apparently doing something right these days: “Good Morning America.” The ABC morning show has been riding high in the ratings lately, even surpassing longtime morning show champion “Today” on NBC.

So what’s its secret? Apparently, dangerous animals are an essential ingredient.

For a week, correspondent Matt Gutman tangled with all manner of ferocious critters, from how to survive a bear attack to fighting off a shark with nothing but bare hands. Forget for a moment that ones chances are greater of being hurt by a bucket or pail than a shark, it made for entertaining TV. And that’s what it takes to grab viewer eyeballs.

So in that spirit, Colbert employed two attention-grabbing critters: a pair of adorable lesbian puppies and a dangerous bucket.

But when things with the bucket took a turn for the dangerous, Colbert received assistance from an unlikely place: a passing bear.

And that’s when things got really strange. Check out Colbert’s entire segment, including the loving conclusion, right here.

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