Best and worst of the VMAs

TelevisionEntertainmentJustin Timberlake50 CentSarah Silverman

MTV knows that being popular means being buzzed about, and all press is good press. After all, the public loathing elicited by Spencer Pratt of "The Hills" is the best thing to happen to the network in years.

That must be why MTV kicked off the 2007 VMAs with a surefire train wreck: Britney Spears. Producers knew that if they put an unpracticed, out of shape Britney on stage, she'd make a fool of herself – and her performance would be the talk of the town.

Maybe MTV was also trying to create buzz by producing the worst awards show of all time? If so, mission accomplished.

Gimme gimme more: Our own Elizabeth Snead described Brit's performance best: "She didn't dance. She could barely walk. She lip-synched. She had to be helped just to walk down two steps … Her gut was the only thing shaking when she tried to chest shimmy."

Whatever you do, don't laugh: During Brit's number, audience members put on their best game faces. 50 Cent appeared bewildered, but managed to keep from actually dropping his jaw in horror.

Sarah Silverman has a field day: As always, Sarah Silverman said what everybody was thinking: "[Britney] is amazing. I mean she is 25 years old and she's already accomplished… everything she's gonna accomplish in her life."

Sarah makes peace with Paris: After bashing Paris Hilton at the MTV Movie Awards, Sarah attempted to smooth things over. "No Paris jokes tonight. I'm over that," she swore.

"If you had any idea how much I misused all of my orifices in my early 20s," Sarah continued, "you would realize it was really the pot calling the kettle [promiscuous] or whatever."

Best sport: 50 Cent: 50 Cent thought it was hilarious when Sarah gazed at him and mused, "I think it is so cute that he is still alive. I love that."

Most sorely overlooked: Amy Winehouse: 2007 was the year of Amy, but the troubled star didn't win a single award. Nobody joked about Amy's drug problem, but Sarah did ask the audience if she was Jewish.

"If she isn't, someone should tell her face," Sarah continued. Nobody was safe from her wrath. And what sweet wrath it was.

'Fantasy suites' turn into a nightmare:

Throughout the ceremony, MTV aired snippets of mini-concerts taking place in "fantasy suites" throughout the Palms Las Vegas. In the suites, fans mobbed artists like Kanye West and Justin Timberlake while they performed.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that Kanye and Justin were having fun at their ragers, but there was nothing fun about watching them get attacked by wannabe strippers while they kinda sang. Viewers were told that they could see more of these mini-concerts online. Why would we do that?

Best Posh-bob: Rihanna: Rihanna topped off her pink strapless gown with a fresh Posh-bob with extra-long pieces in the front.

Now if only she had not performed "Umbrella," uh, uh, uh…

VMA-induced epilepsy: Maybe I'm an old fogy, but I thought that the flashing shapes and colored lights were a bit much – they reminded me of a bad trip.

Chris Brown wows 'em by actually trying: With his carnival-themed performance and killer moves, Chris Brown was the best performer, namely because he was the only one who seemed like he was trying.

As Justin Timberlake later remarked, "whatever Chris Brown just did reminded me how much I'm getting older, cause damn!"

Even Seth Rogen is a bust: It's hard to make Seth Rogen unfunny; that's why the whole poster for "Knocked Up" was just a picture of his head. The guy's default is funny.

So what was with that lousy running bit in which Seth encouraged people to vote for Best New Artist?

JT disses LC: When the women of MTV's "The Hills" presented Justin Timberlake with his award for Male Artist of the Year, Justin used his time onstage to bash reality TV. "Play more damn videos," he urged.

Shia's big announcement falls on deaf ears: While presenting the award for Best Female Artist, Shia Labeouf released the title of the new Indiana Jones movie: "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull". "It's a big deal. Nobody's ever heard it before," insisted Shia, but the audience seemed indifferent.

Confidential style note to Shia: Pssst, Shia! We know that you're transitioning from kid actor to leading man, and we know the ever-scruffy Justin Timberlake is your style icon. Your facial hair, however, is still – er -- growing in. So you may want to shave until it fills out a little more.

Dude, did they rehearse this at all? Worst presenter award goes to Pamela Anderson (although she had plenty of competition).

"I think I had my tongue so far down his throat I could taste his fiancée," Pam said while announcing Kanye West. Not only was the line bizarro, but Pam seemed lost and said "Hello?" As in, is this thing on?

Foxiest: Megan Fox: Please forgive my punning, but wowza, could Megan Fox be any foxier? She kinda looks like a "Lara Croft Tomb Raider" Angie.

Yet another "huh?" moment: Was Adrian Grenier holding a video camera and taping the audience while he presented the award for Best Group?

You aren't allowed to make fun of Alicia Keys: I'm not sure why exactly. I think there's a law against it.

But if you could make fun of Alicia Keys, her skin-tight ensemble, '60s headband and sparkly boots would make a great target.

Best moment you missed: Apparently, Kid Rock walked up to Tommy Lee and punched him! Supposedly a fight ensued, but it wasn't aired.

Catch this on YouTube tomorrow: Jennifer Garner was less than amped when her co-presenter, Jamie Foxx, refused to read the teleprompter. "Tommy Lee and Kid Rock fightin' like black folks," he said instead. Finally, a flustered Jen presented the Best New Artist Award … to "Gym Class Fallout." Once again, huh?

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