The big wedding day doesn’t have to mean big debt

By Kathleen Lynn, Tribune Media Services

Limos, open bars and bridesmaids in pastel: That big fat wedding doesn’t come cheap.

In fact, the average cost of a wedding nationally is about $22,000, according to Fairchild Publications, the publishers of Modern Bride and other glossy wedding magazines.

“That’s just a tremendous amount of money,” said Alan Fields, co-author with his wife, Denise Fields, of “Bridal Bargains.”

And, it’s more than many brides and grooms are willing to pay.

“People are definitely focusing on bargains and value,” Fields said.

For these thrifty couples, there are a number of books and websites that help find the best deals. Some of their suggestions are a bit odd (such as melting old gold dental fillings to make a wedding ring).

Others require the bride to do a lot of work herself — or rely on a devoted and talented network of family and friends who would be thrilled to sew the gown, bake the wedding cake and decorate the party space.

But, that won’t work for everyone.

“I’m a real bargain shopper, so I had really big ideas about how I was going to save money and do everything myself,” said Amy Double of Montclair, N.J., an Internet content provider at North Jersey Media Group. She is getting married in September.

Slicing up the budget

Although she started out with a $10,000 budget, in the end she expects to spend more than twice that amount — partly because she decided against doing a lot of things herself and partly because everything turned out to be more expensive than expected.

“It really takes on a life of its own,” she said.

Still, you can eat your wedding cake and have it too, without going into debt. Wedding experts recommend the following advice on saving money:

Cost-cutting tips

Cut the guest list. With many caterers charging $100 or more per person, this is the biggest cost in most weddings. Do you really need to invite that second cousin or former co-worker you haven’t seen in two years?

Have a Friday, Sunday, afternoon or winter wedding. Caterers will reduce the cost by about 10% for an off-peak-season wedding.

Beware of what Fields calls the “marriage markup.” Some caterers, florists and other vendors charge more for a wedding than a similar-size family reunion or retirement party — apparently on the theory that brides and grooms will be too starry-eyed to notice. To get around this, look for vendors who don’t charge extra for weddings. Companies that do not specialize in the wedding market are worth a try.

Consider doing without some extras. If guest favors, a limousine and an army of bridesmaids don’t mean that much to you, skip them. Does the groom need to rent a tuxedo or would a dark suit do the job?

Comparison shop. Prices for dresses, caterers, flowers and all the rest can vary a lot. And, thanks to the Internet, you don’t have to shop only at local merchants. You can buy a headpiece from halfway across the country or flowers from all the way across the country. (California-based www.freshroses.com is recommended by “Bridal Bargains.”)

Don’t be shy about negotiating. “It’s your money, so act like it,” said Stephi Stewart, who runs an online guide called “Fire Your Wedding Planner.” She advised asking vendors if they’re flexible on prices and services.

For example, she said, many wedding photographers won’t give up the negatives, forcing brides to pay extra for every copy they order later. Try finding a photographer willing to hand over the negatives.

Be creative in looking for a dress. According to Fairchild Publications, the average cost of a dress was $799 in 2002, the last time it surveyed the market. But, prices and quality vary widely, according to “Bridal Bargains,” which rates the major wedding dress manufacturers.

Sometimes stores and designers put their samples on sale at deep discounts, while other brides have good luck finding a dress on eBay. After the wedding, you can recoup part of the cost by selling the dress.

Rather than spend a lot on a big, tiered cake, consider a small wedding cake for display during the reception, plus a much cheaper sheet cake in the kitchen that the caterer can cut up to serve guests. They’ll never know the difference.

To get musicians at a reasonable price, consider calling college music departments.

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