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Chris ErskineMan of the House• E-mail
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Recent Columns:
I'm only happy if I'm shopping. Wait, that's a slight exaggeration. I'm only happy when I'm not shopping. The last time I was in the Glendale Galleria, Abe Lincoln was off to see a show.
SO THE Blue Jay Sluggers cap their undefeated season -- no wins, no losses, 14 ties -- with a party in the park. It's a lavish display befitting today's modern athlete: food, gifts and groupies (in this case, the boys' moms).
SO MY dad took a couple of days off, allowing me to "guest host" his column for him again, a task I rank right up there with scrubbing pond scum off a canoe. Gee, thanks. As my father himself would say: "Bartender!!!"
OUR TOUCH football season ended last week, after the doctor told me I needed some work done on my elbow.
I love love. It's so full of hope. So full of little chocolate sprinkles.
IREALIZED in the second week of the T-ball season that I had somehow been blessed with a team of elves, leprechauns and Smurfs. There they were, sitting on the bench in the dugout one afternoon, squirming as if on a church pew when I thought: "ELVES! By gawd, the league gave me a roster full of elves!"
GRANDMA arrived the other day, with a suitcase the size of a Frigidaire. Took two grown men and a forklift to move it from the car to our guest quarters, which doubles as the little guy's bedroom. Come visit us and you're likely to have Spider-Man sheets and a stuffed raccoon as a bunkmate. Make your summer reservations now.
Do mothers need a special day? Does Jack Black need a sedative? Of course the mothers need a special day.
AND I THOUGHT last week's party for 80 teenagers was bad (it was). Now I'm hosting a party for 30 adults. Each week, the celebrations get smaller, more polished, more demanding.
AT 17, SHE glides along as if life is one big expense account. Not that we haven't tried to teach her the value of a buck -- approximately 7 cents versus a year ago.