Chris Erskine: For Mom, only a multi-tasking holiday will do

Do mothers need a special day? Does Jack Black need a sedative? Of course the mothers need a special day.

"How about a baseball theme?" I ask the kids. You know, baseball napkins, big bowls of roasted peanuts. Steroids.

"Dad, it's not a kid's birthday."

"It's not?"

"No, it's not," notes the lovely and patient older daughter.

"She's not 5, Dad," says her little sister.

Hmm, now they're setting all sorts of rules. Used to be, you could throw a Mother's Day bash and everybody was pretty impressed that:

1) You remembered.

2) You prepared in advance in any way at all.

3) You didn't just buy her booze.

Mother's Day, Smother's Day, I showed them how to celebrate a mom.

"Mothers de Mayo!" I finally said.

"Huh?"

"Mothers de Mayo," I said. "The best elements of Mothers Day and Cinco de Mayo, all rolled into one day."

"Huh?"

"We'll celebrate the day the mothers drove the French out of Mexico," I explained.

"Dad, the mothers never did that," noted the boy.

"They didn't?"

"No."

"Well, it's just a matter of time," I explained.