It’s your party -- enjoy it

Get real: Worried that guests will spill red wine on your new carpet? Serve white. Embarrassed about the sofa stains? Dim the lights and they won’t show. Does it look like a tornado struck your kids’ rooms? Shut the door to “off-limit” spaces.

“Keep lights low, burn some candles and guests won’t notice the dust bunny in the corner or behind the couch,” says Phyllis Cambria, a Florida event planner and co-author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Throwing a Great Party.” “Slow down, enjoy the planning and don’t move through the season so quickly that you miss the good stuff. It’s the times together that people will remember, not that you served the perfect souffle.”

Spend less: Blowing your budget is a surefire stressor. “There really is no need to go overboard,” says Lauren Braun Costello, a private chef and caterer in New York City. “If your budget is $200, don’t serve expensive items like shrimp cocktail and Champagne punch. You will be very stressed when it’s all been consumed in the first half-hour.”

Accept help: If guests offer to bring something, take them up on it. “Ask one friend to bring flowers, and another friend to bring his favorite bottle of red wine,” Costello says. “This will help you check items off your list without your actually having to do them.” Or pay for them.

Bring in takeout: Abandon the notion that every single thing must be homemade, and make the term “re-plate” an integral part of your party-giving vocabulary. As in: “I’ll keep my sanity by buying takeout food and then ‘re-plate’ the courses on my own decorative dishes and platters.”

“Dispose of the takeout boxes -- and voila! You’re a star,” Cambria says.

Designate a drink server: “Nothing is more stressful than a tipsy guest spilling things, falling down or being obnoxious,” Tessina says. To prevent guests from over-serving themselves, ask someone to volunteer as bartender -- a good role for a shy friend. The server can control alcohol consumption, as well as tend to mixing, pouring and blending. Also offer plenty of nonalcoholic beverages like fruit punch, soda and coffee.

Hire help: Splurge on a server, who can assist before, during and after the party. “They also can help with replenishing food, busing dishes and kitchen cleanup,” says event planner Judy Allen, author of “Your Stress-Free Wedding Planner.” Good help can be found at a reasonable price at hospitality or culinary colleges.

Keep it light: Despite your best efforts, something may go wrong, so put it in perspective. “Avoid catastrophizing and keep your sense of humor,” says Dr. Jay Winner, a Santa Barbara family practitioner and author of “Stress Management Made Simple: Effective Ways to Beat Stress for Better Health.” “Replace phrases and thoughts like ‘This is horrible’ or ‘This is a nightmare’ with more realistic phrases like ‘This is unfortunate.’ In a few years, it may be a funny story -- so laugh now.”