Could comedian Henry Phillips be the next Emeril Lagasse? Nope. Not in anyone's lifetime. But this new video of him making baked spaghetti is amazing.
"I've found that if you have a really good saute pan, you really don't need someone to share your life with," Phillips says in the video, in which he teaches viewers a few life lessons along with his recipe for baked spaghetti.
He's also prone to profanity, so if you are expecting Food Network-quality television, you may want to avert your eyes. The video is a comical look at a man's quest to make spaghetti in a dirty kitchen, without the proper equipment.
It starts with one of many awkward pauses before Phillips quotes the Wikipedia entry for the origins of spaghetti. Then he spends what seems like an eternity listing all the ingredients needed for the recipe. They're all barely in view of the camera, so you'd better be listening, and taking notes.
He drops a bowl, doesn't pick it up, leans on a door frame and stares into the camera. It's riveting. There's garlic, ground beef, tomato sauce and plenty of cheese.
When he finally gets cooking, he generously shares his idea for a good movie, because, according to Phillips, Hollywood really doesn't make movies like they used to. It involves a lovable loser who designs planes that crash because he's always drunk.
"And then he meets Gwyneth Paltrow's character, and they fall in love, and she motivates him, and eventually, like, she helps him win some kind of big plane contest or something," Phillips says while stirring his spaghetti sauce. "I haven't really figured out the ending."
We'll wait to see if that one makes it to theaters.
But between the awkward pauses, patchy editing with a background meant to look like the pages of a scrapbook, and a few seconds of mushroom-bashing, you do actually get a basic spaghetti recipe. You also get the invaluable life lessons.
"Cooking is never easy, and it's never fun," Phillips says after throwing away his baked spaghetti for forgetting to put in the mushrooms. "But if it were, then they wouldn't call it cooking."
Well said Phillips. Well said.
And if you're into random anecdotes, someone staring blankly into the camera for extended periods of time and the occasional cooking shot, Phillips has an entire series of cooking videos with baked French toast, chili for one and even an attempt at sushi.
Love a good laugh, then a snack? Follow me on Twitter @Jenn_Harris_