With iPhone And Siri, Who Needs College?

Apple iPhone Nicki Minaj Higgs Boson Search Bill Murray Dalai Lama

What does it take to get us excited anymore?

I mean, we have a remote-controlled craft roaming the surface of Mars — Mars! — and it's tooling around scooping up soil and looking for evidence of life, and our reaction is: ZZZZZZZZ.

And in the Alps scientists are close to proving the existence of "the God particle" — "the God particle!" — and our reaction is: What's happening on "American Idol" between Mariah and Nicki Minaj. (They're working it out.)

Why do I bring this up?

As you may have guessed, I just got an iPhone. Owning an iPhones gets you excited. I've had smart phones before, but in comparison to the iPhone they were like Nicki Minaj vs. "the God Particle."

Before I go any father let me answer the question I am sure is foremost on your mind.

What's Siri really like? Well, she's very nice, doesn't come across as a know-it-all one bit. I can't say the same for myself.

With Siri just a voice command away, and Google at my fingertips, I've become obnoxious. I'm hoping this will wear off, but right now I make your average Mr. Smarty Pants appear modest.

Go ahead, ask me anything:

Question: In the movie "Caddyshack" what did the Dalai Lama — "Big hitter, the Lama"— say to Carl Spackler (Bill Murray)?

Answer: "Gunga galunga ... gunga, gunga-galunga."

Want to try another one?

Question: What is pi?

Now, back before I was iPhoned I probably would have said something like pi, (correct spelling pie) is a dessert.

But with all known knowledge at my finger tips, I am able to respond more intelligently and tell you that pi is a mathematical formula that I assume allows a hostess to slice a pie (or pi) so that 22 people each get one seventh.

You can look this up if you want, but it will be a waste of time because I'm never wrong now.

Here's a question I have?

With everything and anything anyone needs to know now just a few clicks or queries away, what is the point of kids going to college anymore? I mean, you forget most of what you learn anyway, so why not save yourself from a lifetime of loan payments and just have your parents get you an iPhone5?

Siri, what's the point of going to college?

Damned if I know, Jim; can I find you a restaurant?

I love this woman.