Going On A First Date? Relationship Experts Say Many Make Digital Dating Don'ts

Groupon, Inc.Foursquare

In our digital age of smartphones and text messaging and Facebook and Groupon, relationship experts say so many people are making major dating mistakes, especially on a first date.

Chrissy Tebbe just got engaged to the love of her life, even if the man she loves broke a cardinal rule of dating in the digital age.

“My fiancé asked me out first time through Facebook.  We had met through mutual friends and he asked me out on it in an e-mail through Facebook, yeah,” said Tebbe.

Relationship coach Jennfier Styers said she sees people go through what Tebbe went through all the time: People making major digital dating don’ts.  Styers believed some 2011 dating etiquette is in order.

Styers said when asking someone on a first date, pick up the phone, don’t text.

“Girls still want the old fashioned guy,” said Styers.

Another big no-no before the date: Add them as a friend on Facebook.

“There’s too much information available and I think people are relying on that versus getting to know somebody,” Styers told CW 33 News.

Once you are on the date, Styers said you have to disconnect.

“When you’re out on a date, to have your phone out, to have it on, to have it ringing, to have it on the table is just downright disrespectful,” she said.

At the end of the date when the bill comes, don’t whip out a deal you got from Groupon, Living Social or Foursquare.

“I think there is a point in the relationship where things like Groupon and stuff like that is OK, but not on a first date,” said Styers.

Styers also said don’t tag your date on Facebook places or Foursquare and don’t post about how it went after the night is over.

“There are some things that are supposed to be private in this world and relationships are one of them.  They’re sacred,” she said.

Tebbe said she and her fiancé have found a way to make that special connection in the digital age, and she offered one more piece of advice that has worked for her.

“You’ve got to speak up.  If you’re feeling neglected and you’re on that date, you got to speak up and say, ‘Hey, are you here with me or are you here with your phone,’” she said with a smile.

Copyright © 2014, Los Angeles Times
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