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Conan’s fake Apple commercial has ultimate U2 solution

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So you were upset that Apple sent you the new U2 album to your iTunes, even though you didn’t ask for it. Now what?

On Thursday night’s “Conan,” Conan O’Brien aired a possible new solution for Apple to utilize against the surprising backlash to the giveaway.

As the fake Apple executive “Marcus Pratt” says in the bit, “Apparently, to today’s youth, giving away a free album from one of the best bands of all time is like going to their house and taking a gigantic crap on their doorstep.”

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Yes, iTunes users can easily delete the free album, “Songs of Innocence,” from their music libraries. But what if they’ve already listened to it? What if those songs are already rattling around in the synapses of their brains?

Well, the Apple of Conan O’Brien’s world has a solution for that too. Now users can have every memory of U2 completely scrubbed from their minds -- a procedure similar to the one shown in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.”

Once every last guitar lick by the Edge or crooning lyric from Bono is blissfully free from your mind, well Apple can send you a way to download the album all over again. Because, despite the backlash, U2 is one of the world’s biggest bands for a reason.

“If you’re happy, we’re happy,” says “Pratt.” “But seriously... It was a free album -- get over it.”

Follow me on Twitter: @patrickkevinday

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