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‘Scream Queens’ recap: Who’s got a theory?

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Happy Thanksgiving, pledges. I know what you’re all thankful for: Chanel. Just kidding — although I am certain she is very thankful for herself, the rest of you are merely satisfied with another crazy episode of “Scream Queens.” Boy, do you have something to be thankful for; after an onslaught of theories, accusations and one severed head it is safe to say, pledges, that you all had your pie and ate it too.

Thanksgiving is in full swing at Kappa Kappa Tau; all the Chanels are off to their respective homes — or boyfriend’s mansion in Chanel Oberlin’s (Emma Roberts) case. Grace (Skyler Samuels) is headed to Oakland with Zayday (Keke Palmer) and everyone else has, how do I put this delicately, been murdered.

Turkey day plans suddenly change for Chanel No. 3 (Billie Lourd) when she angrily walks out on her family’s Thanksgiving dinner in front of six plasma TVs. With nowhere else to go, No. 3 returns to the Kappa house to find Dean Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) in the kitchen preparing a turkey. Grace and Zayday renege on their plans to go to Oakland and decide to stay back at Kappa as well. Wes (Oliver Hudson), learning of his daughter’s decision to stick around, also joins the Kappas’ feast. No. 5 (Abigail Breslin) joins as well after discovering her family left on vacation without her.

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While the party at Kappa is growing, Chanel is having her own fun, or lack thereof, with Chad’s (Glen Powell) family in the Hamptons. Just as Chad’s mother begins to completely tear down Chanel for being worthless in the eyes of their glorious family, a friendly face decides to crash the party: Hester (Lea Michele). That’s right, Hester is not dead — thanks to her handy dandy neck brace. In fact, Chanel’s little murderous stunt may have even cured her extreme scoliosis. Hester, after recounting her harrowing survival story, announces her (fake) pregnancy to the entire Radwell family, who threaten the girl with legal action, not before taking a few digs at her appearance.

As the fun is just beginning at the Radwell house, so is the fun at the Kappa house. Munsch decides to start up a game of “who do you think the Red Devil killer is” while waiting for the turkey to finish cooking. Munsch immediately accuses Chanel No. 3 because of her biological father (Charles Manson). After all the evidence is laid out, the group is not entirely convinced it is really No. 3 doing the killing, so she takes the opportunity to accuse Munsch of being the serial killer.

Things are not looking good for Munsch as the evidence continues to pile up, including evidence that No. 3 discovered that proves she really did kill her ex-husband. However, the barrage on Munsch stops when Wes pipes up with another theory: his daughter is the killer — dun, dun, dun. Quickly the group shifts all of their attention to proving Grace is the killer — seriously, the mob mentality among these girls is strong. However, all of their theories are dispelled when Pete (Diego Boneta) shows up with a box of evidence and a new suspect: Wes.

This is where things get interesting, y’all. Through all of Pete’s gumshoeing he has come to possess some solid proof that Wes is related to the killings. Blood related, in fact, as through DNA testing Pete found that Wes is the father of dearly departed Boone (Nick Jonas), which means Wes is the father of the bathtub babies. Although set to go to the police, Pete decides not to and gives Wes and Grace time to figure out how to come to terms with and stop their newly discovered family members.

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The entire Kappa family including Hester and Chanel, who left the Radwells’ house after Chanel impressively told off Chad’s family and defended her sorority sister, finally sit down to a proper Thanksgiving dinner. However, the biggest surprise of the night was yet to come as when Chanel goes to pull off the dish cover she is not greeted with the sight of a fully-cooked turkey, but the decapitated head of Gigi (Nasim Pedrad).

So what did you think of the episode? Do you think Gigi is really dead or is it an elaborate trick? Who do you think the other Red Devil is? Sound off in the comments and check back for what fresh hell the next week’s episode brings!

Scream count: 3

Best quotes:

“Gravity killed Hester, I just gave her a little push.” - Chanel Oberlin (Emma Roberts)

“Wait a minute, there’s a part other than bribing a government official with drugs so that you can steal the hair of a dead man that you’re ashamed of?” - Dean Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis)

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