Critics’ Choice Awards 2012: Best and Worst

Hosts Rob Huebel and Paul Scheer proved to be more adept at the pre-taped bit than the on-stage patter at the Critics’ Choice Movie Awards. Their opening “documentary” look at actors who play inanimate objects, with auteurs such as Michael Bay asking, “Why would I want a gun to play a gun, when I could get an actor to play a gun?” Huebel and Scheer took a note from the Gervais book of hosting, calling the proceedings, “The ninth most exciting night in Hollywood.” (Kevin Winter / Getty Images)

Oct. 22, 2012 1:21 PM PT

Second-tier awards shows can be cynical affairs in today’s awards cluttered Hollywood, so it’s always nice when these affairs are spruced up with a little bit of sincerity. Best supporting actress Octavia Spencer’s win for “The Help” was just such a moment. She unsteadily climbed the stairs and admitted, “I’m not a Girl Scout. I’m not prepared.” But that made it all the better. (Kevin Winter / Getty Images)

Christopher Plummer, wearing a Chippendales fabulous flesh-colored shirt and white collar had no doubt been working on his metaphors in the limo ride to the awards tonight, and his win for best supporting actor allowed him try some out. “Being honored like a critic is like being on a three-week binge with the enemy,” he said. But that wasn’t all. “It’s like being back in school and the headmaster calls you in and gives you a good report,” he said. “It’s like beginning your career all over again and waiting for your first decent review.” When these works of minor poetry weren’t hitting, Plummer tried a different tack: “I’m completely turned on.” Ooooooh yeah. (Kevin Winter / Getty Images)

How do you know when you’ve hit bottom in Hollywood? You’re invited to an awards show, but you’re not nominated for an award. And you have to sit in your underwear. Next to George Clooney and Jessica Chastain. While the hosts mock you. Here’s hoping the rest of 2012 is kinder toward the men and women asked to be naked in the audience to help put the award winners at ease. (Kevin Winter / Getty Images)

Apatow capped off his speech accepting the best comedy award for “Bridesmaids” with one well-placed slam. Noting that the film was written by Annie Mumolo and Kristen Wiig, Apatow said, “Jerry Lewis once said women weren’t funny. So I just want to say with all respect, ... you.” Lewis, the ball is now in your court. (Kevin Winter / Getty Images)

Patton Oswalt decided to drown his sorrows after losing best supporting actor to Christopher Plummer. On stage to present the award for best comedy, Oswalt took a couple nips from a flask of Scotch to “chase away the pain.” He tried to look on the bright side: “Plummer has to stay sober... I’m gonna go get in a fight with a cop.” (Kevin Winter / Getty Images)

Sean Penn (seen here in Haiti in 2010) accepted the Joel Siegel Award for his humanitarian work on location from Haiti, which is the best possible place for any humanitarian to accept an award for their work. Take note other humanitarian award-winners. Don’t put on a tux; pick up a shovel. (Liz O. Baylen / Los Angeles Times)

Despite wave after wave of tepid reviews, Thomas Horn from “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” managed to land a Critics’ Choice Award for best young actor/actress. And based on his extremely slick acceptance speech, he’s in the running to win the Haley Josel Osment Award for overly precocious child actor. Octavia Spencer seemed more childlike than Horn did. (Kevin Winter / Getty Images)

Bob Dylan seemed to be channeling Tom Waits during his performance honoring Film and Music Awards winner Martin Scorsese. Dylan has taken his traditional garbled singing and added a layer of gravel in his older age. Soon, he may actually sound like static. (Kevin Winter / Getty Images)