They were young and full of promise and they came running from throughout California when their nation beckoned after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks.

For many, enlisting in the military had long been their dream. For others, it was a decision that caught their family and friends by surprise.

When they deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, they tried to hide the brutal truth of war from their families. But then came a knock on the door from Marines, soldiers, sailors or airmen bearing regrets from the president of the United States.

Their families are proud of their service, but for them every day is Memorial Day, a day of remembrance -- and tears.

When Sgt. Luis Montes, 22, of El Centro was buried, the Army made sure his mother received his Purple Heart and Bronze Star. He died of burns suffered while trying to pull two buddies from a burning tank in Iraq. "I didn't want medals," Marisela Montes said. "I wanted a son. But I don't have my son, I have his medals."

The Times has tried to provide an obituary for all military personnel from California killed in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

As Memorial Day is set to be observed, that figure stands at 492. It does not include several hundred military personnel who, although they may have been stationed in California for years, still appeared to call another state home.

Across the nation, more than 4,600 have died while in service to the country. Of the California dead, the median age was 23. Their deaths left 205 widows and three widowers, and 300 children who will grow up without their fathers, two without their mothers. Thirty-eight of the 492 were engaged.

About 67% were in the Army, Army National Guard or Army Reserve; 27% in the Marine Corps or Marine Corps Reserve. The Air Force accounted for 2%, the Navy and Navy Reserve for 4%. Two percent of those killed were women.

At least 59 were immigrants. The state's two largest cities, Los Angeles and San Diego, have had the most casualties, but statistics suggest that, per capita, the sacrifice has fallen more heavily on smaller cities, suburbs and farm towns.

The high schools with the most graduates killed are in Clovis (six), Hemet (five) and Simi Valley (four).

But numbers alone are a woeful way to describe the continuing death toll. Each death leaves dreams unfulfilled.

Army Spc. Jose R. Perez, 24, wanted to open a barbershop in his hometown of Ontario. He was killed by a sniper in Ramadi, west of Baghdad. He left a wife, Izabel, and 4-year-old son, Jose Jr.

Army Sgt. Dale Brehm, 23, of Turlock wanted to build a house for his family. He was killed in a firefight in Ramadi two weeks before he was scheduled to leave Iraq.

Marine Cpl. Carlos Arellano, 22, of Rosemead hoped to join the Los Angeles Police Department. "He figured the Marines would be something that would open a lot of doors," said his brother, Marco. Instead, Arellano was killed by a suicide bomber. The pictures he had sent home often showed him surrounded by Iraqi children.

The children of Iraq, who trail U.S. personnel everywhere, laughing and grinning, figure prominently in the letters and phone calls of Marines and soldiers killed there.

Army Pfc. Casey M. LaWare, 19, of Redding wrote to a cousin that his greatest enjoyment in Iraq was giving candy to the children. He died of burns incurred while in a guard tower.

Marine Pfc. Javier Chavez Jr., 19, of Cutler wrote his wife, Janie, that when he patrolled near Fallouja, the Iraqi adults were silent and unfriendly but the children held his hand and walked beside him. "He would give them candy," she said.

Chavez was killed when he stepped on a land mine.