Everyone knows you need to exercise and eat right to lose weight. Great, we'll keep that in mind for next year. For now, summer's a mere volleyball net away-and you need results pronto. For those of us who spent the winter boycotting Bally's and keeping Giordano's in business, here's the cheater's guide to faking your summer physique.
Trompe la bod
Move over, Earl Scheib: Spacio, a day spa catering to men and women, offers customized air-brush spray tans. Using strategic shading, Spacio technicians accentuate positives and minimize negatives. Craving a six-pack? Done. Want more defined cleavage or pecs? No prob. Need a little help with the rear view? Yep, they'll go there, too. Spacio recommends getting the service one to two days in advance of your beach visit. Once the spray has been applied, avoid showering-or, uh, sweating-for eight hours. The bronzed glow lasts seven to 10 days. $55 for a 45-minute session.
Maybe Suzanne Somers can spend all day Thigh Master-ing her way to shapelier legs, but you actually have a job. Good thing Natalie Tessler, owner of downtown's Spa Space, claims her anticellulite massage can help you go gam to gam with anyone this summer. The treatment incorporates a physician-developed cream infused with caffeine to help shed water weight and simulate circulation. The massage uses rapid, high-energy strokes to break up cells and tissue, helping to minimize the appearance of the dreaded cellulite. $95 for a 1-hour massage.
Would you rather try on a swimsuit under fluorescent lights or practice yoga in a 105-degree sweat chamber? According to Bikram Yoga Chicago instructor and owner John Marcoux, this style of yoga provides a "heart-pumping sweat fest." He says men see the fastest results; he claims to have lost 18 pounds in two weeks. First-time visitors can get an unlimited one-month pass for $29.
Desperate times call for desperate measures, right? Karyn's, primarily known as a raw food cafe, also offers a spa and health center. Here, trained therapists provide colonics, or internal cleansings with filtered water, to help you detoxify from the inside out. Yes, it may sound worse than taking spin class with a hangover, but the procedure aids in digestion to stimulate weight loss. Here's the catch: For best results, Karyn's recommends the $75 treatment four times a month.
Take the lunge
You can get sprayed, rubbed and polished, but sometimes you just have to do the work-but who has time to do it every day? Kamp Krit, founded by personal trainer Ron Krit, offers quick, concentrated, weekly workouts in Oz Park; prepare to sprint, lunge, lift and squat. The first six-week course starts Tuesday at 6:30 p.m. and runs every Tuesday through June 20.
Bonus: Want to get in touch with your inner warrior and fight the fat? Try a group kickboxing class at Three Pillars Wellness Center in Hyde Park. The five-week course runs $70.
Rachel Gillman is a metromix special contributor. firstname.lastname@example.org Originally published May 12, 2006.