Sip it, shoot it, watch it

TelevisionEntertainmentFall Out Boy (music group)RihannaJamiroquai (music group)Ryan Seacrest

MTV’s 24th annual Video Music Awards rolls into Vegas (Sunday, Sept. 9 at 9 p.m./8c) with a whole slew of stars, but we can’t help thinking that watching sober is a fate worse than death. After all, there are so many excuses to booze it up: the awards mark the official end of summer; you find yourself increasingly out of touch with popular music; and everyone at the show is three sheets to the wind already!

We hear your excuses and offer you our official VMA drinking game. Now follow the rules, drink responsibly (meaning drink a lot, but stay put!), smile for the paparazzi and enjoy the show stinking drunk. Just like the celebs do. Take a sip when…

  • Anyone makes an Amy Winehouse “rehab” pun
  • One of the countless Wayans brothers makes an appearance
  • Jennifer Hudson and Beyoncé finally duke it out in a battle royale
  • Anyone other than Rihanna utters an emphatic “ella, ella”
  • 50 Cent debuts a new collaboration with Zac Efron
  • You confuse Fall Out Boy with The All American Rejects 

Shotgun a beer when…

  • Ryan Seacrest awkwardly attempts to host the show
  • A rapper with an inflated ego speaks in the third person
  • Kanye West makes a totally unsubstantiated political statement
  • You realize that you’re taller than any two cast members of “Entourage” combined
  • Timbaland announces his candidacy for President
  • You confuse Fall Out Boy with Good Charlotte 

Take a shot when…

  • The “surprise” Britney performance involves accidental and unsightly nudity
  • You shed a tear for the days of Jamiroquai
  • Glimpses of Rihanna and Shia LaBeouf canoodling in the audience make you jealous…but you’re not sure of whom
  • You spot non-Justin Timberlake N*Sync-ers talking about their “exciting” careers during the pre-show
  • Lily Allen is deported again
  • You confuse Fall Out Boy with Panic! At the Disco

Jäger Bombs if…

  • You watch the whole thing. Way to go, champ!
Copyright © 2014, Los Angeles Times
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