Maybe Sign on Car Was Referring to ‘Theater of the Absurd’

Hank Spieker was en route to an acting class for senior citizens when he found himself at a red light behind a car sporting a notice that said, “Honk if you love the theater.” Said Spieker: “I am a theater lover, and I felt some need to show my mutual appreciation for the arts. So I honked my horn.” You can guess what happened.

“The male driver stuck his arm out and gave me the one-finger salute,” Spieker said. “Then he stuck his head out the window and yelled, ‘What are you honking for, you idiot? The light is still red!’ ”

Concluded Spieker: “It must be his wife’s car.”

How hot is Shaq? Well, just look at the condition of one of the ex-Laker’s jerseys, spotted by Libby Lent of Pasadena (see accompanying).

Unclear on the concept (parts 1 and 2): Joel Rapp of L.A. found a business card whose spelling was anything but excellent, while Nola Jones of Rowland Heights noticed a banner whose creators are perhaps a bit too self-assured about their spelling (see accompanying).

They didn’t get the hint: Dean Gatons of Crestline points out that an electronics company sent a certain Ms. Noneofyourbusnss a piece of junk mail that even spelled out her fake name in fake handwriting (see accompanying).

Harvey’s Hall of Wonders: Strange facts about our environs:

* The goo in the La Brea Tar Pits is asphalt, not tar.

* The Catalina Casino in Avalon allows no gambling.

* The Los Angeles Air Force Base, which houses the Space and Missile Systems Center near LAX, has no runways or airplanes.

* The city of San Fernando’s seal shows the San Fernando Mission, which is actually in the Mission Hills area of L.A.

* The Foursquare Gospel Church in Echo Park is in a circular building.

Time for an alias? San Diego’s financial scandal led Time magazine to call that city’s Dick Murphy one of the worst mayors in the nation, and now Murphy has resigned. Will the local major league baseball team distance itself from the mess by renaming itself the Los Angeles Padres of San Diego?

No halfway measures, please: Betty Barnett of Pomona saw an ad from a mortuary that provides “complete cremation.” Commented Barnett: “I don’t even want to think about the ‘incomplete’ version.”

miscelLAny: Someone posted a lost-pet flier in my neighborhood for an iguana that is “orange/green, 2 1/2 feet long.” I hate notices that have only scanty details. An iguana that is orange and green and 2 1/2 feet long – is that all the information we have to go on in this hotbed of exotic pets?

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATimes, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.