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Toppling social barriers

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Knoll is a Times staff writer.

During each of the four funerals she attended in 1999, Julie La Belle had a recurring thought: “I can’t believe I’m sitting at a service for a teenager.”

La Belle was a youth minister brought to Columbine High School in Littleton, Colo., to counsel students in the aftermath of the shootings there. Initially, there was shock and disbelief that hate and violence could occur at such a nice school in such a nice suburb.

It is years later, but La Belle hasn’t forgotten the lesson. She is director of student activities at Chaminade College Preparatory, a Roman Catholic school in West Hills whose gated campus is sprinkled with flowers, greenery and sunlight. La Belle knows looks can be deceiving, which is why she devoted a recent week to “Breaking Down the Walls.”

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Used in schools nationwide and created by a Meadow Vista, Calif., company, the program included assemblies and workshops in which students did team-building exercises and answered questions in small groups. The idea is that it’s hard to hate someone you’ve gotten to know.

Administrators at Chaminade took it one step further recently, conducting its own icebreaker activity. Colored wristbands were distributed to the 1,200 high schoolers during first period with instructions to sit according to color at lunchtime.

Lucky for freshman Jake Speyer, he got orange.

The 14-year-old redhead with braces enjoyed his turkey sandwich in the company of students he had never spoken with before: seven senior girls.

“I definitely feel comfortable,” he said as he looked around his table, which was marked by a cluster of orange helium balloons. “It’s all beautiful women, they’re experienced seniors, and they make me smile.”

The experienced seniors’ response? “Awwww!”

“I can ask them questions,” Jake said, grinning at his table mates. “Sometimes you feel judged by people in your own grade.”

“That’s so true,” replied Sydney Bossert, 17, who later said she would definitely talk to Jake in the hallways. “I think it’s so cool how open he is as a freshman, because if I were a freshman I would have totally walked away.”

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Making new acquaintances was the theme in the noisy cafeteria decorated with posters spray-painted with slogans such as “Dare 2 B Different” and “Be the Change You Want to See in the World.”

Approaching a table with silver balloons, junior Greg King asked, “Do you mind if I sit with you guys?”

“You’re in!” said senior Brett Fair, 17, as he pointed to the silver wristband on Greg’s arm.

Thumbing through an envelope filled with icebreaker questions typed on strips of paper, Brett read aloud, “Who was the most inspirational person in your life?”

Greg, 16, smiled awkwardly and shrugged. “I don’t have one.” The entire table laughed, and Greg received a few pats on the back.

But not everyone was interested in breaking bread with strangers. Some teenagers found a table that matched their wristbands but made sure it was first filled with their friends. About one-fourth of the students paid no heed to color and sat in their usual groups, texting and watching videos on a laptop.

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“I just didn’t feel like talking to people I don’t know,” said sophomore Liam George, 16, who wore a red wristband but sat under a tree and discussed “Halo” and “World of Warcraft” with his friend Kyle Kinlaw, 16.

Overall, La Belle thought the activity went well enough to make it a regular exercise. “Some of the kids that normally don’t have anyone to eat lunch with were sitting at a table full of people,” she said.

As for the teenagers who thought it was corny, La Belle thought she might be able to reach them through other programs such as a social justice film festival or acoustic open-mic coffeehouse. Anything to get students opening up and interacting with one another, she said, is a proactive measure against hate.

“You can never know,” she said. “I always say do everything you can now.”

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c orina.knoll@latimes.com

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