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A wanted man who wanted to make it to court really early

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For your Stupid Criminal Alibis file, consider the case of the guy stopped by an L.A. County sheriff’s deputy and informed that there was a warrant out for his arrest.

“Yes, I know, I was on my way to court,” explained the suspect, according to the department’s Star News magazine.

The deputy wasn’t persuaded, inasmuch as it was 2 in the morning. On a Sunday.

How’s that again? The Star News says that suspects also come up with some interesting answers in the booking process when asked whether they have medical problems.

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“No, I’m on methadone,” shrugged one.

“Yes, my girlfriend left me so I have a broken heart,” said another, who had been arrested for striking her.

And finally there was this from a suspect prone to grand mal seizures: “Yes, I have great-grandma seizures.”

More dumb lines: The KTLA-TV Channel 5 news broadcast a 911 call from a guy who said he had taken an unspecified drug overdose and thought he was “dying.” He finished the call by asking, “What is the score of the Red Wings game?”

Carrying liberalism too far? In the People’s Republic of Santa Monica, Sal Lombardo of West L.A. noticed what appeared to be a special parking area for insurgents (see photo). Actually, it’s the name of a film company.

There’s no parking garage here: Jerry Kleinsasser of Bakersfield found evidence that, in the construction industry, no job is too small these days (see photo).

As if there was any doubt: In South Carolina, Margaret Jordan of Valencia chanced upon an attorney’s office that’s really out for blood (see photo).

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For the birds: The other day I mentioned how some mockingbirds, apparently nervous about their newly laid eggs, had been dive-bombing pedestrians in Pacific Palisades.

Well, Michele Colman of Manhattan Beach has a better rapport with the feathered mimics.

“We have a major crow problem and I am constantly harassing them to make them go away,” Colman related. “We have a pair of mockingbirds, as well, that have built a nest in the tree behind our house. Being incredibly maternal and paternal, the pair also chases crows away.

“The interesting part of the story is that when they saw me leveling a slingshot at the crows, they quickly decided that I could help them. They have a very distinctive call when there are crows about and, if I don’t hear them at first, one of them lands on my garage roof and calls to me.

“After a successful ‘mission,’ one will sing for me on the telephone wire. I have never been dive-bombed and when the babies are fledged, the parents will bring them to the yard, almost as if they are showing them off.”

She concluded: “It’s so nice being needed.”

miscelLAny: Marty Rauch of West L.A. received a notice from Honda of Santa Monica that said: “Due to our climate, we recommend reviewing your Honda owner’s manual to follow the severe weather conditions maintenance schedule.” Severe weather on the Westside? Is that when the temperature falls below 70?

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.

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