AARP’s Jabs at Actor’s New Magazine Are Not Exactly Sly

AARP the Magazine, a publication for the over-50 set, departed from its normally genial tone to greet a possible competitor: Sly, a magazine for men over 40 published by actor Sylvester Stallone.

AARP mocked Sly’s “steroid-packed pearls” and took this “by the numbers approach” to assessing the first issue:

* “Number of times Stallone’s picture appears in the magazine: 33.”

* “Number of ad pages promoting Stallone Instone, his line of bodybuilding supplements: 11.”

* “Number of pages promoting Sly’s reality show, ‘The Contender’: 4.”

And, finally:

* “Number of issues we give Sly magazine: 3.”

Yo, Adrian!

Speaking of film dialogue: The American Film Institute’s list of the 100 top movie lines included Ronald Reagan’s “win just one for the Gipper” speech from “Knute Rockne -- All American” and two contributions from Arnold Schwarzenegger in the “Terminator” movies (“I’ll be back” and “Hasta la vista, baby”).

Significance?

California was the only state to have two governors featured on the list.

Weird world of animals: Today’s exhibits (see accompanying) include:

* A hydrant that would be of no use to firefighters at Central Bark, a dog park in Irvine (Vanessa Deskin of Irvine).

* A spelling of tortoise that may or may not be a joke (Pat Wilson of Corona).

* A mention of bees at a yard sale -- usually not the sort of attraction that would bring a crowd of shoppers (Elizabeth Petta of Sunland).

Did I make a donkey of myself! Turns out I was only half right when I said the animals in line at a Jack in the Box in Bishop were horses (see photo). As a posse of readers informed me, they were mules (a mule is the offspring of a donkey and a horse).

“Some mules give a smoother ride than just about any kind of horse,” Ivan Bowling, age 90, e-mailed me from Waynesville, Mo. “Guess that makes getting food at the drive-thru even more desirable.”

miscelLAny: Milwaukee-area resident Greg Horbachevsky, visiting these parts, saw a panhandler in Santa Monica with a sign that said, “Need Weed.” Sort of a variation of another favorite used by moochers around town: “Why Lie? I Need a Beer.” Horbachevsky didn’t see anyone giving the “Need Weed” man a hit, monetary or otherwise.

All I know is that after that mule mishap, why lie? I need a beer.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.