Want the Inside Scoop on Baseball? Maybe Not

I don’t know about you, baseball fans, but when I see players from opposing teams talking on the field, I always wonder what they’re saying. I want the inside stuff. So, after spotting my 13-year-old son gabbing with the rival pitcher after a Pony League game, I put the question to him.

“He said he broke his cup during the game,” my son reported. “He bent over in the third inning on one pitch and it just snapped in two. He had to pitch the rest of the game like that.”

Nowheresville: Christa Lyneis noticed that the website sigalert.com doesn’t think much of one part of Ventura County (see accompanying).

I wonder if Oxnard is West Nowhere.

Words imperfect: Noting a construction company’s warning in West L.A., Larry Teplin figures the sign must have been worded by an admirer of Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger -- possibly one whose education was terminated prematurely (see photo).

Food for thought: In the Daily Trojan crime log, Leslie Jones saw an item about a “male student” in a nearby restaurant who was assaulted “by two or more females over a napkin.”

Warning -- Crazed Drivers. Do Not Imitate: Michael Brennan shared a copy of “The Patter,” a Woodland Hills Elementary School publication that monitors the transgressions of parents dropping off and picking up kids.

It’s probably no worse there than at other schools -- meaning it’s a wild scene. Violators in the month of May included:

* The gray Honda Accord that “backed into vehicle; parent on cellphone.”

* The black BMW that illegally “dropped off child in red zone, then made U-turn and removed cones and drove into blocked off [street].”

* The black Mercedes that executed a U-turn, “holding up traffic, then threw cigarette butt out window.”

Great role models.

Ooh L.A. L.A.: Always a danger for gas stations to post a “Free Brake Inspection” offer on a sign with removable letters. Soraya Alamdari, visiting from Philadelphia, saw a marquee in Encino that some joker had altered to read: “Free Bra Inspection.”

miscelLAny: For today’s “duh!” item, Max Lupul of Northridge sent along a wrapper that disclosed what is produced in a facility that processes peanuts (see accompanying). You’ll never guess!

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.