Are Americans getting dumber?

While others worry that Americans are getting dumber, I'm excited about a future in which I am one of the smartest people in the country. These columns will win Nobel Prizes in economics, literature and fields not yet invented, like kickassedness and noyoudidntity. I will be asked to run an Ivy League university solely based on my insights: Avoid land wars in the Middle East; buy stocks when the Dow drops 40%; do not floss with licorice.

Joel Stein

October 31, 2008