The military privacy debate

Eight years into the war on terror, military wives are aces at anticipatory grief. The possibility of loss was introduced so early in my marriage, it may as well have been an attendant at the wedding. Immediately after our brief predeployment ceremony at city hall, my husband made sure I had our marriage certificate safely stored, as well as his will. While he was at war, I mentally rehearsed his funeral a hundred times, right down to the psalms and the finish on the casket fittings. And many of us Army wives, in the recesses of our closets, have stashed a black dress, just in case -- if not for our own husband's funeral, then someone else's. The military preaches readiness, after all, and, we reason, if tragedy comes, we may not handle ourselves perfectly in the abyss of grief, but damn it, we'll be prepared.

By Lily Burana

March 18, 2009