Still undecided? Then just don't vote

Don't vote. People will try to guilt you into it, but stay strong and resist. I'm talking to all of you who don't feel strongly about either presidential candidate, not just those 80 undecided idiots seated at Tuesday's town hall-style debate. Those people just crave attention and are way too proud of skimming enough Google News headlines to formulate a question. Give each a hug and a Debate Attendee diploma and I bet they'll pick a candidate real fast.

Joel Stein

October 10, 2008